Atomic Nerds

So, one of the things that happened while we were dark is that I somehow, through a process that even I don’t fully understand, became a football fan. Yes, the American one. Yes, NFL. I am as surprised as you, frankly. Though not more surprised than Stingray, who has diligently been searching for the pod ever since.

What happened roughly was this: the last Superbowl was a faceoff between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. As New Mexico doesn’t have an NFL team, the state’s football fans divide by rough order of geography into Broncos, Cowboys, and Cardinals fans; up here in the north half of the state close to Colorado, it’s mostly Broncos fans. I also, through a series of coincidences, have a fair chunk of friends or teammates who are from or residing in Seattle. Thusly about two thirds of my social circle was REALLY EXCITED about the game, half because Broncos and half because Seahawks. This had never happened before.

At this point I had a couple of options for reaction. A) Ignore everything diligently until the war dance was over. Kind of difficult to do when my teammates were chatting about it while strapping on skates and pads, and my guildmates were while rounding up to go kill internet monsters. B) Make fun of both sides while snarking about handegg. Been there, done that, it had started to feel hollow. C) Try to understand the game and see what the people I liked and respected were so exercised about.

I chose option C, just for the change of pace and to have something to do. Given that I’m a die-hard gamer and can learn and understand pretty much anything if someone has translated to video game format, I started there- given there’s a ludicrously popular franchise devoted to just that. I snagged the mobile version first, which was diverting albeit really quite buggy, and enjoyed it enough that I snagged the (by-now marked down, given the season is over) console copy.

Then I got a really annoying strain of the flu that left me without energy to do much of anything. For three weeks. Every time I stood up too fast or moved further than about ten feet, I’d get dizzy and need a rest break. So I spent a lot of time on the couch, playing the feetballs.

Somewhere through that process I discovered that I actually really enjoyed the game, in and of itself. I think it appeals to the same level of geekery in me that likes derby and games in general (and no matter what anyone tells you, football fans are massive geeks, just about a more socially acceptable interest). I like that there’s a fair bit more strategy involved than I once understood- like chess with intelligent pieces. I also like that it gives me a weird subject of nearly universal small talk with strangers I otherwise have absolutely nothing in common with. (And that people boggle at me when I turn out to be able to converse intelligently on the subject- I guess there’s still an adolescent part of me that loves being something other than what others expect.) And just like any good geek, I love that there’s damn near total saturation of available information about the subject.

So, because that is what you do when you Football, I decided to pick a team to follow. I grew up in Phoenix, which would make the Cardinals the logical default choice, but I remember listening to the car radio a lot during the era when they’d first relocated there from Saint Louis, and I remember what an obnoxious attitude they had when they first turned up- like we were lucky to have an NFL team at all, let alone one that actually acted like they belonged or were happy to be there. (It also irritates me they’re still called the Cardinals, which are found nowhere in AZ. C’mon, the Oilers became the Titans and the (former) Browns became the Ravens…) Cowboys were out. They were rather high-profile dickwads when I was a teenager. Broncos were out because my major impression formed during the Superbowl (the first I had ever watched with more interest in the game than the commercials) was that I harbor irrational hatred for Peyton Manning. Pretty sure it was watching him scream at his teammates while the Denver team actively melted down- that can’t have helped anything. Or maybe it’s his forehead. I don’t like his forehead either.

So now it’s the Detroit Lions. Why? Honestly, it’s because they were the team that really suited the way I found I like to play in Madden (aggressive defense, strong-arm pass-heavy offense), and that’s not really any less logical than geographical proximity or inheriting a team like a family heirloom. (My brother is a Cowboys fan for that reason, which is a perfectly good reason but not one strong enough to erase my memories of strutting cocks in Dallas.) Also because when I went in to research their participation in the National Felon League sub-competition, I found plenty of arrests, but mostly for weed and none for violent crimes. Also my dad was a Red Sox fan, and while I have no investment in the Sox myself, it was a thorough early socialization in the draw of talented underdogs, as well as the bitter joy of constant raised hopes and subsequent heartbreak. Plus I found I really dig watching Ndamukong Suh plant offensive players like tomato stakes.

All of which is essentially a long-winded warning that among this blog’s usual eclectic content will probably appear some football musings, simply because I now have things to say about the sport other than snark. And I’d hate for anybody in what remains of my reading audience to die of shock.

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