Atomic Nerds

Alternately titled, “Behold The Power of Cheese: A Play in Four Acts”. This has been posted elsewhere, but we’re swamped today and it qualifies as decent filler. Do not click the image link if you’re squeamish- and yes, “get the camera” was his idea…

Somewhere on the wrong side of midnight some nights ago:

Stingray, bringing Kang in by the collar: “Thank God she finally came in. We need to look around for her latest kill tomorrow, though. She wouldn’t let me get close enough to see before she stashed it somewhere, but whatever it was, it had a tail.”

Me, waking up on the couch: “Oh. Wonderful…. zzzzzzz…”

Noon the following day:

Me, hating life in general and summer in particular: “I looked all over the yard, but I couldn’t find anything, not so much as a tuft of fur. Whatever it was, it’s either eaten or buried now.”

Two p.m. the same day, the living room, in front of the sliding glass door to the back yard:

Me: “All right, so I’ll call him tomorrow or the day after and- YAAAAHHHHGGGGKKK!”

Stingray: “‘Yahhgkk’?”

Me: “Gloves! Gloves! Where are the gloves!”

Stingray: “Right over there- ah, I see.”

Kang, lying on porch with mud matted in fur, leisurely enjoying a dead squirrel: “”

Squirrel: *has no head, but definitely has a tail*

Stingray, opening the back door: “Dogs! Inside! What a good boy, Kodos! What a woof! Come on, Kang! Join the party! See what a good boy Kodos is? Don’t you want in on this, girl?”

Kang: *is pretty sure we covet her squirrel*

Me, ceasing to dither uselessly with gloves: “LOOK! CHEESE! YES, IT’S CHEESE! HOW ABOUT THAT, KODOS?!”

Kodos: *has no idea what he did to deserve this bounty, but is milking it for all it’s worth*

Kang: *still thinks we have dark plans for the squirrel, but is more interested now*

Humans: “Cheese, yes! Cheese for everyone! Come on, sweet girl! Cheese! You can smell it! Babygirl, yes, if you don’t come in we’re going to skin you and line a jacket with it! Come on! Whee! Party! Cheese! Come on!”

Kang: *succumbs to lure of cheese and fun, abandons squirrel*

Everyone: *has a party*

Stingray: “Right. If you’ll toss me those gloves and get some breath mints for her, I’ll deal with the squirrel.”

Me: “Thank you. Kang! Come! Have a breath mint! Have five! Have all the breath mints you want!”

Kang: *cannot believe what a great day she’s having*

Stingray: *suddenly leaps up to the kitchen window, making a gruesome face and waving the headless squirrel*

Me, proceeding rapidly around to the back door: “YAAGGH! Stop that.”

We: *have a conference about best rodent-disposal options, settling on a gallon freezer bag*

Stingray, swinging squirrel by the tail: “Catch!”

Me: “I hate you so much.”

Two-thirty pm, the dogs get booted back into the back yard while we plant a tree out front:

Kang, going instantly to the place she left the squirrel: “”

End.

Posted Dogblogging, homestead, Wildlife Interface |