Atomic Nerds

I have a new record for the dumbest thing a member of the mainstream media has ever pestered a scientist about: Ape Uprising?

The actual reporter went to some actual primatologists to quiz them about the possibility that chimps might, like they do in the upcoming Rise of the Planet of the Apes, be able to use a gun and consciously rebel against humanity. Or something. The question is as muddled as the answers he got out of said primatologists, as classic a case of GIGO as I’ve ever seen.

They made a game attempt at stating some reasons as to why the question is a bit silly, but they didn’t do what I really wanted at least one of them to do, which was instead of stating things like “they’re just apes, and there aren’t actually all that many of them left, and guns would probably scare them more than anything”, just saying:

“Look, it’s a big, dumb, action movie, and not only that it’s a big, dumb, sequel to an entire franchise of big, dumb, action movies. This is not hard science fiction, it’s CGI apes with guns because apes with guns are cool on a movie screen when you’ve paid twenty dollars for a bucket of popcorn and the intention to suspend the laws of reality for a couple of hours. Nobody at all is remotely confused about this, and anybody who might be anyway has some problems that are far beyond my capabilities to address. Please find something more constructive to do with your time. You have embarrassed both of us. Goodbye.”

Posted media slaves, Ranting |