Gender Kabuki
Irradiated by LabRat
I used to pretty much automatically tune out people that use terms like “hegemonic masculinity”, and truth be told it took me long enough to try and find a concise definition that wasn’t an impenetrable thicket of jargon that I had to use the link at hand, but every once in awhile I come across completely straight-faced pieces that are damn near a parody of the entire concept- like this one. So far as I can tell Laura Ingraham is completely serious about it and so is National Review, but it trips my Poe threshold to the point where if I hadn’t been familiar with either I’d be going back and forth over whether or not it was a satire, written by someone who wanted to translate a concept.
The topic of the article? The profound threat to American masculinity that is the man-purse. To wit:
In their mission to erase all vestiges of masculinity once and for all, the fashion mavens have done away with the backpack, the briefcase, and the gym bag. The only accessory acceptable to the chic man about town is the murse. This purse-like man-pouch is all the rage in most metropolitan areas.
Fashion probably has something to do with it, but if I were completely unfamiliar with American culture and I were trying to explain why there were more square bags carried by shoulder strap around and fewer backpacks, briefcases, and gym bags, I would probably start by noting that carrying a bag by a strap is more convenient and comfortable than carrying a bag by a handle, and that the things people were carrying with them tended to also be flat and square and thus carrying a backpack or gym bag would be mostly wasted space.
If I got as far as noting that shoulder-strap bags of moderate size had a different set of gender connotations than the other kinds of bags, I might be really confused trying to figure out why the location and number of straps had so much to do with the sex of its carrier.
At first, they weren’t as objectionable because they were modeled on satchels you’d expect to see on a World War I infantryman. But over the last few years, they have gotten more and more . . . well, feminine. The leather, canvas, and Naugahyde man-bags are now indistinguishable from their female counterparts.
The really interesting part of this is that she’s not saying the bags themselves have changed all that much, she’s saying women carry them, or things that look them, more as well- which makes them unacceptably feminine.
Why does a man even need a purse? A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone. If you routinely tote anything more than that, you just might be a woman. With coin purses, brushes, makeup, tissues, and other female products, we ladies need the extra space. A man can survive with a lot less.
This is especially ironic to me because I really do only carry around my wallet and maybe a knife at any given time, whereas Stingray carries around enough hardware to start and maintain a small civilization.
It really only gets stranger the longer you think about it and try to unpack it, though. Kleenex is feminine now? Are men supposed to use their sleeve? Men should forgo toting around a netbook, pen-and-paper notebook, their own paperwork, a book or Kindle to read, or any other tools of productivity because they can survive without them? Only women should be prepared for downtime or minor problems easily solved with simple tools? Or men can carry tools of productivity, but they have to be uncomfortable and lose the use of one hand while they do it?
What a man chooses to carry his stuff in tells us a lot about who he is.
Once we attach an absurdly byzantine meaning to everything people do, carry, wear, or use, it does.
Men should by nature be solid, tough, and strong (think leather briefcase) — not soft, delicate, and transparent (think macramé tote).
I have never seen a man carrying a macramé tote outside a hippie event where everything is made of natural fibers, and a majority of both women’s purses and messenger bags alike are made of leather. I’M CONFUSED NOW.
Carrying a shimmery Dolce & Gabbana clutch is not going to endear you to a woman — we won’t think you are cool or hip. But if you play your cards right, we might just loan you a set of matching pumps.
Before someone accuses me of having missed the point, I know Ingraham meant this entire brief post as snark/a joke, but the premises on which something is supposed to be funny don’t alter just because it’s a joke piece and not a piece trying to make a serious point with the exact same premises. And the premise here is that a generic-looking bag is just like a woman’s clutch- markedly and laughably feminine- because it has a strap on the shoulder and can carry less stuff than a gym bag or backpack.
It gets more interesting when you realize that you don’t need to Mad Lib the piece much at all to make it a screed about why a real woman should never wear pants with pockets or sneakers- showing off your gender by forgoing useful designs. In the pockets/shoes case it’s taken as given that that’s the model because men are practical and carry their stuff with them in a handy way and wear shoes it’s comfortable to walk a long way in, but women are fashionable and wear painful shoes and clothes that conform tightly to their outline because they’re modeling. In the “murse” case, women are practical and men show off manly they are by only carrying things that are absolutely necessary or else carrying them in something that’s less practical… unless they’re being Led Astray By Fashion.
Odd world we live in. H/T Ozymandias for original article.
July 18th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I recently went from a large Targus laptop backpack to a Maxpedition satchel. Since I have less space to put stuff in, I carry less stuff and it’s a lot more comfortable to wear.
I show that I’m a man by acting like a responsible adult, not by how I dress and certainly not by what I carry.
July 18th, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Meh… Interesting take, but bottom line, I agree with DB. To my way of thinking it’s more about actions and acceptance of responsibility rather than what I’m carrying (or not)… Backpack for work, Maxpedition if I’m at a gun show…
July 18th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
“Stingray carries around enough hardware to start and maintain a small civilization.”
Odd . . . many gunbloggers of my acquaintance carry around enough hardware to destroy a small civilization!
July 18th, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Keys? If I don’t leave my apartment unlocked when I leave, I just might be a woman? I guess heightened risk tolerance is generally supposed to be a masculine trait, but that goes a bit far.
The last* time I got bullied into a friend’s wedding party, I carried a wallet, keys, pocket-knife, multitool, phone, flask, and iPod around in my tuxedo trousers’ horribly inadequate pockets. As usual, people made fun of me until they needed something.
——
* I mean that as both “most recent” and “it’s not gonna happen again”
July 18th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Four words…
Dragon Leatherworks Pistol Pouch
Note to self…send Laura Ingraham an e-mail, with a link to said holster. Looks like a Murse. Hides a gun. Big gun. Like, a 4″ 1911 chambered in .45.
That ain’t metrosexual….thats just plain smart.
July 18th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
“… Stingray carries around enough hardware to start and maintain a small civilization.”
Do you think we could get him started on that project sometime real soon now? Because I’m about ready to give up on our current civilization, and I figure anything involving Stingray has GOT to be an improvement.
July 18th, 2011 at 9:26 pm
…nothing is gayer than paying attention to what people are wearing.
July 18th, 2011 at 9:57 pm
So, carrying around my Maxpedition Versipack (gun, knife, cell, flashlight and whatever) makes me metro? Wait till I tell my wife!
July 18th, 2011 at 11:07 pm
In a suit, I have no problem.
Phone and pen, shirt pocket
Notebook, inside breast pocket
Hankie, lower inside pocket (not the color square, don’t blow your nose in that)
Front left trouser pocket, keys and flashlight
Front right pocket, wallet and Swiss army knife
Pistol goes on the hip if I am carrying.
All the interesting stuff is in the BOB in the trunk.
July 19th, 2011 at 2:43 am
The solution is simple: Become fat, wear huge jeans. In my pants alone, I can fit a Glock 30, knife, wallet, lighter, phone, keys and two thumb drives.
July 19th, 2011 at 5:37 am
She’s got to be kidding. That, or it’s just too early in the morning.
… to erase all vestiges of masculinity once and for all, the fashion mavens have …
Um … doesn’t giving a shit what the fashion mavens think indicate pre-existing masculinity issues?
A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone.
Uh … yeah. National Review are in Manhattan, aren’t they? Because that’s just about the most Manhattanite dictum I’ve read in weeks.
July 19th, 2011 at 8:03 am
The only proper way for a man to carry his personal stuff in a bag is to get a sporran.
July 19th, 2011 at 9:37 am
Both I and my boyfriend lug around large backpacks, because both of us have large laptops, that we love dearly. I used to carry a purse - then I realized that I could put the purse in the backpack, and leave my hands free.
(Besides, any purse large enough to carry my laptop/powercords/bag of makeup/keys/phone/mp3 player/books/trinkets/hygiene products/meds is going to throw my freaking back out.)
I’ve known a variety of guys - gay, straight, bi and trans, and now that I think about it, what kind of luggage they used had no correlation whatsoever to their orientation.
July 19th, 2011 at 10:51 am
I’ve been wearing phototgrapher’s vests for over twenty years; can’t see changing now.
July 19th, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Um … doesn’t giving a shit what the fashion mavens think indicate pre-existing masculinity issues?
Exactly. I’m gonna keep pointing and laughing at the metrosexuals, even if it puts me in company with Laura.
July 19th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
That article is a direct result of hitting the publish button because of the name on it rather than reading the damn thing and realizing it makes no bloody sense.
July 19th, 2011 at 3:15 pm
One word Scotte Vest……ok that was two words, but take a look here.
http://www.scottevest.com/
Who needs a bag at all?
Josh
July 19th, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Why does a man even need a purse? A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone. If you routinely tote anything more than that, you just might be a woman.
Well, uh… the traditionally masculine contingent has long been big on carrying a pocketknife, too. Since that’s more than a wallet and a phone, I guess they might just be women…?
Me, I happily carry far more than that, in what other people want to call a “messenger bag” but I am quite willing to admit is a “purse”.
(I do historical re-creation, and I’m aware that the “purse” is both not specifically gendered and hasn’t always even been on shoulder straps, so I just don’t give a damn.)
Money, cards, phone, first aid kit, tools, notepad, change, other supplies…
“Real men” can just as easily be following the Boy Scout motto of “be prepared”, after all.
I’m pretty sure I’m not a woman, myself.
That said, my bag’s also black nylon, not faux alligator or Louis Vuitton…
(Now, handbags? Totally femme.
*runs*)
July 19th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
I see someone beat me to the SeV - but I will also note I switched *to* a backpack style laptop bag/gear carrier because the satchels were giving me a pain in the shoulder - the backpacks distribute weight better, is all
July 19th, 2011 at 6:13 pm
So Ms Ingraham isn’t down with the whole EDC/GHB scene? Or are a 5.11 PUSH a MOAB, Maxpedition Fatboy, or a Tactical Taylor XFire OK, since they’re nylon, and not particularly fashionable? (Other than the prepper or Mall Ninja communities?) (Extra style points off-or on, depending-for PALS or MOLLE?)
Me, I carry my lunchbox and an LAPG Bail-out bag.
Slung over my shoulder…
July 19th, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Sigivald:
This seems like a good reason to link to the timeless wisdom of a very smart man.
“I was once told that no gentleman should leave his house without having a knife and some way to make fire on his person. Sound advice, I think.”
-Professor LawDog
July 19th, 2011 at 8:30 pm
I seem to recall photos of the sainted William F. Buckley jr. carrying a brown leather satchel on a strap over his shoulder, while riding a Vespa through NYC traffic.
For my part, it’s an ancient LL Bean satchel in brown canvas, containing most likely a netbook w/accesories, a pad and pens, first aid kit, and a full set of electrician’s tools. On my bicycle.
July 19th, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Wallet: check. Phone: check. Er… and keys, change, Kleenex, alcohol-soaked towelettes, pocketknife, little flashlight, USB thumb drive, cough drops, pencil, pen, and some index cards. That’s just the standard stuff in my pocketses. Sometimes add a camera.
On my way to work? I’m probably also carrying (not in my pockets) some combination of laptop PC, satchel of assorted tools, and/or plastic bin of prototype hardware.
But I guess Men worthy of the title have the sort of job for which a well-fitting suit is the most important tool. Those of us who lug around actual tools are mere tradesmen, and unworthy of consideration.
And perhaps all the big-city rich men with important jobs don’t need keys; they wouldn’t drive their own cars, and they probably have electronic locks on their apartments, so the door key lives in the wallet.
July 19th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Eric -
No real men carry their tools in a work truck.
Josh
July 20th, 2011 at 1:59 am
Kleenex?
Why bother? The proper way of cleaning one’s nose is this… find a lawn, or a desk of someone you don’t like, press a finger onto one side of the nose, blow out with the other at the target. Then change sides and repeat. Best done if no one’s around.
Fashion, IMO, is stupid. Men shouldn’t give a flying fuck about fashion, as being fashionable means dumbly obeying someone else’s idea of what one should wear.
July 20th, 2011 at 6:39 am
I don’t need keys. I break down doors like a real man. And I start my car with my angry fists.
July 20th, 2011 at 9:29 am
“And I start my car with my angry fists.”
I LOL’ed so hard.
Oh, and to Dr. Laura:
“A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone. If you routinely tote anything more than that, you just might be a woman.”
Thank Shiva that my girliness lets me carry around other stuff like guns and knives and backup guns and reloads and multitools and cameras and crap like that.
What a frickin’ Metrocon.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:32 am
Idiot woman pissed me off so much answered her post before I read all this, thus:
“I have carried an old canvas Filson bag [sort of like JC’s LL Bean I bet] that has been repaired twice, granted not very “murse” like, everywhere, from two month- long trips to Mongolia and one each to Kazakhstan and Zimbabwe, where I had to face down one of Mugabe’s armed thugs to keep it.
It now accompanies me wherever I go in my western home state. I open it just now to ascertain its contents: binoculars, wallet, aspirin, notebook and pencil, spare reading glasses, multi- tool, mini digital camera, classic S & W “Kit” revolver & holster.
All but the gun accompanied me to other, often harsh, countries; of course I now have to leave the tool at home too.
I hear Ms Ingraham also disapproves of hunting with a rifle, which has provided me with most of my meat (elk) for a decade and more. Should I really bother to feel that my masculinity is threatened by her opinion of how I carry my stuff? It doesn’t all fit on MY belt…”
(As the blog propriteors know I also carry a compact Kimber, separately…)
July 20th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
A backpack generally beats a shoulder bag, not only because it’s easier on your shoulder, as someone mentioned above, but if you wear both shoulder straps, it uses up both hands.
It’s also better if you’re dealing with a heavy laptop, like a 2005-era 17″ laptop and it’s 130w power supply, aka brick.
July 20th, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Back when men’s suits and sport coats (reflect on that name) were made in different fabrics to reflect the seasons and all of those fabrics had some drape, were designed to be worn all day (high, fitted armholes) not to have the jacket discarded to the back of the chair and overall were fitted properly for real wear as opposed being made to simply look good while standing still; men had a dozen pockets that could actually be used to carry necessities.
I seem to recall my dad’s briefcase, which he got from his father, having a strap. I dare anyone to raise zombie grandpa and call him unmasculine.
Of course, personal automobiles and central heat started killing off practical men’s wear (real hat, coat, jacket, vest in various combinations) worn with the long pants that used to be the mark of adult maleness half a century ago or more.
But who needs layers or a functional jacket when the only exposure to weather one gets is to and from the car and the office is 65 degrees year round? And why wear a jacket if it’s okay to dress like you’re five in shorts, sandals and a kid’s ball cap all day? So the bag becomes even more necessary.
July 21st, 2011 at 3:57 am
Umm…Wallet & phone? Just how big a wallet?
Let’s see- my edc loadout-
Wallet (which is about 3″ thick with lots of cards and stuff- oddly, not much money these days)
Kershaw folder
Victorinox swiss army knife
Handkerchief
Asthma inhaler
Keys (minimized to three)
Kel-Tec PF9
Spare mag for PF9
Fenix L1T flashlight
Spare change (silver only)
Small notebook
Pilot G2 gel pen
Phone
And that’s just on my direct person, pocketed or holstered.
Add my laptop bag, and you get the laptop & charger
Small earbuds
A couple more pens & pencils
Large notebook and tablet of graph paper
Charger for cell phone
Candy bar
Bandaids
Ibuprofin
Small bottle of spare prescription meds
Work ID badges & keys
Nevermind what’s in my vehicle.