But Cancer IS Kinda Metal!

June 25, 2011 - 10:54 am
Irradiated by Stingray
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Today on the way back from my weekly pilgrimage to Chili Works, I had the windows down to allow me to flip off any recent escapees from the set of Tron, and as one does, the metal station playing on the satellite radio. A break came between bursts of angry growling and cats-in-a-blender guitars, and the DJ began her patter.

This was fairly normal stuff. Hey, it’s a nice day. Go to the beach, drink some beer, smoke a little weed, throw the horns, perform various awesome lewd acts on one or more genders of your choice, and keep the music loud. And be sure and use plenty of sunscreen! Seriously, you’ll get burned, and get cancer.

One of these things is not like the other, but hey, at least Facebones finally got that agenda item run through and on the air. Up next, a PSA from William Murderface about not moshing for at least 30 minutes after you eat. Just remain calm and be sure to ring your Deathbell.

No Responses to “But Cancer IS Kinda Metal!”

  1. Robert Says:

    Uh, what? Either one of us is really baked, dude, or I’m really outta touch with pop culture. I suspect the latter.

  2. Chris Byrne Says:

    As someone who currently has cancer, let me just say, cancer is most definitely NOT metal.

    Cancer is lame.

    Cancer sucks.

    Elephantitis of the testicles is metal. Cancer is like being forced to listen to nothing but Barry Manilow and the Pat Boone rendition of… well, anything; for all eternity.

  3. Andrew Weitzman Says:

    “Squamous Carcinoma” does have a certain metal-ish ring to it as a band name.

  4. Justthisguy Says:

    Did they play “Hold the Pig Steady”?