Uninspired Blogging, Naughty Bits Edition
Irradiated by LabRat
QP and Observations of a Nerd discuss the global penis size map. QP makes the entirely accurate observation that what it may effectively be is a global map of how much men wrap their masculinity up in their dicks worldwide (ON confirms much of the data is self-reported), where the Observations of a Nerd post goes into much more detailed analysis of what kind of information is actually here- i.e. not much of value, but the breakdown is entertaining, especially the overall weakness with which any real science has been done on the subject- or member- at hand.
One of the commenters wonders aloud why female bloggers seem so much more willing to discuss penises in particular and sex in general when men are supposed to be the gender thinking most about sex. There are a couple of reasons.
1. We don’t have penises ourselves. It’s a curiosity factor thing. We have no body parts that behave remotely comparably, so the thing seems comical and uncanny at the same time. The obsession men have with breasts and playing with them is legendary, but the only thing that stops women from being similarly obsessive and handsy with penises is the idea that once we wake it up, we’re obligated to appease it. (And indeed in relationships with a healthier sexual dynamic… that barrier goes away.)
2. None of our ego and sense of self is bound up in it, so it’s easy to talk about. For us, even our own genitals are not really anything to brag about or be ashamed of; we’re hung up on our overall body image instead. Many women who may have crippling insecurities about the state of their thighs and breasts are more comfortable with the frankness of sex. Given that the broadest cultural trope is that a woman doesn’t have to do anything in bed other than be there and be willing to wildly thrill men, a woman who doesn’t think much of her body but is even moderately sexually skilled can feel pretty good about that, and thus more willing to talk about it in general.
3. Most of us think about sex just as often as maybe most men do, but we won’t be called creepy for talking about it. Slutty/whorish maybe, but in today’s culture (very broadly speaking, this does NOT APPLY everywhere) it’s easier to defend yourself psychologically and socially from charges of sluttiness than charges of creepiness. We’re also not under as much cultural expectation to think about sex in particular scripted ways. It’s much easier to talk about when you’re neither expected to fit your talk into a frame, nor are as many people inclined to frame it for you.
March 28th, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Has anyone tried to cross-correlate these data with rates of firearm and/or pickup truck ownership?
March 28th, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Although I obsess on none of them, I can correlate the fact that I have firearms, pickups and a penis… if that is at all helpful. If I had plural penises, as I do pickups and firearms… then I might obsess.
March 28th, 2011 at 8:12 pm
(Should I have added a sarcasm meter in USENET-style text-o-graphics? I was trying to make a silly joke, not a point.)
March 28th, 2011 at 8:36 pm
…as was I.
March 28th, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I’m tempted to post a reply illustrating how African tribal and patriarchal societies led to the elongation of the penis . . . but I suspect Labrat would shoot me down (or castrate me) in scientific flames.
March 28th, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Quite aside from my being able to put a check mark in all three of the stipulated catagories above, reason #4 is that, for roughly 50%+ of the human population, being privy to women talking about sex/penii is just kinky exciting and therefore desirable activity in it’s own right.
March 28th, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Well, part of the Observant Nerd’s analysis was that evolutionarily speaking, penises longer than needed to penetrate effectively aren’t really a fitness boost unless women prefer them strongly, which they don’t seem to.
If I were to assume the data is both sound and matchable to the other data, I’d point to the African genetic groups prone to producing some of the tallest individuals. Length and height don’t closely correlate, but they do correlate to an extent.
March 29th, 2011 at 4:19 am
[sarc]
So…is that why women tend to prefer taller men?
[/sarc]
March 29th, 2011 at 9:53 am
Heh.
We really do need a working sarc tag as part of the html standard.
One wonders just how far some of those men drove the end of that ruler into their hip bones in order to get the longest measurement possible.
And how many were injured in the process …
March 29th, 2011 at 11:20 am
“I’d point to the African genetic groups prone to producing some of the tallest individuals. Length and height don’t closely correlate, but they do correlate to an extent.
So that’s why women like us tall lanky dudes….
March 29th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
It’s one of those “within a couple of standard deviations” things; within the fat part of the bell curve, individual variation will dictate more than height, but out at the tails, a really big guy is just likely to be bigger overall than a much smaller one.
March 29th, 2011 at 8:18 pm
My bits are NOT naughty. They’re fucking unemployed!
March 29th, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Has anyone done anything to consider the obvious correlation between temperate zones and penii? For cold weather climate dwellers, a smaller penis would tend to make more sense from a preservation of heat standpoint. The necessity of keeping the testes close to the core would make sense in that the other acoutremont would also be kept closer to the core, i.e. shorter, as well.
I also fully agree that diameter plays a more important role in pleasure, both for the male and female, than length.
April 1st, 2011 at 6:53 am
It’s clear that giant cocks cause poverty.
April 8th, 2011 at 7:38 am
We have no body parts that behave remotely comparably [to the penis], so the thing seems comical and uncanny at the same time.
I wouldn’t say “remotely”. The clitoris gets erections and provides orgasms. …Except it’s too little for us to see our erections and it doesn’t shoot any fluids. “Comical and uncanny” is perhaps the best description of penises ever.
The obsession men have with breasts and playing with them is legendary, but the only thing that stops women from being similarly obsessive and handsy with penises is the idea that once we wake it up, we’re obligated to appease it. (And indeed in relationships with a healthier sexual dynamic… that barrier goes away.)
I consider myself very lucky to have a boy who lets me grope/kiss/pat/flick/swing/lick his junk pretty much constantly, without interpreting any of it as foreplay. Also, I’ve actually told him that his penis is comical (comical in a hot way, but still…) and he’s confident enough to shrug it off.
Seriously, when he gets an erection it’s just hilariously cumbersome-looking, like he has his own personal diving board. It makes me giggle.