Friday Fluff: TV Trends We Could Do Without
Irradiated by LabRat
…Which are inapplicable to the large proportion of you that either don’t watch television period or watch it off sources like Hulu!
- The 1800 Tequila commercials. I seriously don’t understand the marketing strategy here, because my reaction to every single one of these commercials aired is a deep and profound desire to punch their spokesman in the face until my arm gets tired, then use someone else’s arm. I realize that someone clever in the comments is about to find out that it’s clearly “working” because I’m talking about it and even linking to it, but despite the fears of people that seem to think advertising is mind control, something can really get my attention in a way that completely precludes my purchasing the stuff.
Advertising involves a number of strategies, and the usual one with spokespeople is to offer an image that viewers would in some way like to emulate or identify with. The current 1800 strategy seems to be marketing their product as the tequila for insufferable douchebags. I don’t know who this gets them customers with, but I suspect their market share overlaps with Axe body spray’s.
- Discovery Channel, we need to talk. And what we need to talk about is your obsession with making televised reality drama about dangerous, macho professions. I realize this has gotten you some results and acknowledge the model seems to be working out well for you even if a portion of your viewership has gotten as tired of sweaty people mumbling at the camera as they are of mechanized shark jaws, so this is more of a personal plea. I do not need to know that every last high-risk, macho profession on earth is apparently composed of people who are as high-strung and bitchy as sorority pledges. I would prefer to continue living out my days thinking that loggers and truckers and professional bear-punchers are more likely than said pledges to be above temper tantrums and pouting even if this is not actually true.
-All alleged “learning” “health” or otherwise educational channels: look, we get that midgets are for some reason compelling to watch. But after a certain point we reach oversaturation, and once we pass that point we reach this really awkward place where we can’t see them as anything BUT ordinary people who happen to be short and squeaky and at the same time achieve deep discomfort with the fact that there are what seems like dozens of shows whose only reason for existence is “midget drama is much better than trucker drama because it sounds like everyone’s on helium and little people are funny when they stomp and posture like they were regular”. If you’re comfortable with this market model, please rename yourselves the Exploitation Network because at least then the cognitive dissonance will be gone.
- WHAT IS WITH THE SHOWS BASED ENTIRELY AROUND PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HOW NERVOUS THEY ARE IN THE DARK I DON’T EVEN. I can at least understand the existence of shows like Haunted History and A Haunting because ghost stories can be fun even when cheesily re-enacted, but these shows aren’t really ghost stories, or scary, or in any way interesting. There’s usually some sort of historical scary or unpleasant event associated with whatever place they’re filming in, but instead of being drawn and acted out with a kid in blue makeup they’re breathlessly and ham-fistedly told in brief by some hyperactive douche shining a flashlight in random directions. The rest of the show is people jumping at noises and waving things that go beep. I can sort of understand how this might theoretically be fun to do, but who is watching?
In conclusion my entertainment needs would be much better satisfied if all the time currently filled out by the above were entirely replaced with Top Gear reruns.
November 19th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Aim lower on the 1800 market share: insufferable douchebags for whom the 1800 frontman is an improvement.
The macho-profession stuff would be a lot more interesting if it stuck more closely to the profession. Trucking/flying in the frozen wastes, and logging? Cool! Blue collar emoting? Pass; I get enough of that at work.
I’d add most of the “health,” “learning,” and “lifestyle” channels to the “do without” list; any channel for which midget reality shows are a legitimate programming choice is either desperately searching for airtime filler or suffering from clueless execs.
Oddly enough, Spike TV, home of tackiness (e.g., “Manswers,” a show that proves, if nothing else, that bikini-clad women can be involved in almost any query), seems to have avoided midgets.
The whole ghost-hunting thing? Yeah, could do without that. Someone likely looked at Blair Witch and decided that a serialized version would be wonderfully cheap to produce.
November 19th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Couldn’t agree more about Discovery & the health/learning channels.
Health/learning channels= overwhelming amount of shows about being pregnant. Or not realizing you were pregnant. Or..
November 19th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Animal planet is my current pet peeve.
I don’t (thank god) watch enough of it even to know what the titles of any of these series are but standard fare consists of: Macho man acts like a complete and utter ass around wildlife in the guise of teaching us about nature; cute animals are featured in gross Disneyesque squee (typically narrated by Sigorny Weaver) in the guise of teaching us about nature; humaniac AR activists stomp on civil rights to save pets / whales / dolphins / farm animals in the guise of educating us on humane treatment of animals; lame series featuring pet tricks or generic information on pet breeds that trivialize life with pets and - my current favorite - shows that feature animals attacking people who had no business handling them in the first place.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
I’ve often thought more companies should market to niches rather than all competing for the same main market share. For example, a car made tough and deliberately simple to repair, with a limited number of standardized fasteners (all SAE or all metric). Marketed to survivalists, DIYers, and modders.
Unfortunately 1800 Tequila seems to be doing this in trying to corner the insufferable douchebag section of the tequila drinking market. And it’s unfortunately the case that many people are in fact insufferable douchebags, and probably there’s an equal proportion of tequila drinkers there as in the general population.
November 20th, 2010 at 7:18 am
Please, please, please bring back Junkyard Wars!
November 20th, 2010 at 7:29 am
Junkyard Wars was great! I always wished they would put more emphasis on the mechanics of it, especially in terms of fabrication tricks and techniques, rather than the temper tantrums and pouting LabRat talks about.
November 20th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Until you shared, I hadn’t seen the 1800 marketing. Now I know that it’s mediocre tequila in a gimmicky bottle for doucebags.
What is it with all the damn reality crap? I live in reality. I want to be entertained by a slick fantasy.
November 20th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Junkyard Wars: +1.
Secret message to SpeedTV: I know you send camera crews to SCCA events like the June Sprints, because I saw them in person. Once the roundy-round season ends, please show the racing footage you didn’t bother to air over the summer in preference of shows like “Dangerous Drives: Tow Trucks of Chicago”. If I want banal reality TV, I’ll watch whatever’s on Discovery after Mythbusters. I don’t; I want Formula Atlantics touching wheels at 120mph through T8 at Road America.
November 22nd, 2010 at 7:59 am
I don’t suppose ya’ll saw the premier of Top Gear USA on the History Channel last night. I got through about half of it before switching it off.
November 22nd, 2010 at 10:40 pm
“…I suspect their market share overlaps with Axe body spray’s.”
This alone proves that your blog is made of win.
As to the Ghost Hunter/Gatherers: they just remind me of twelve-year-olds on a campout scaring themselves with ghost stories. Zoinks!
November 24th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
More Junkyard wars…with the Brits!
I didn’t even turn on Top Gear USA, I get the original -with Brits- not some secondhand knock-off.