Guilty Pleasures
Irradiated by LabRat
So between heading down to Santa Fe to purchase yeast to rescue a struggling batch of chocolate honey porter, listening in for this show and committing the rest of the evening after dinner to this show, blogging is still suffering. I haven’t even had time to begin DRAFTING my next planned beast.
So, I’m going to borrow from Jay and punt: guilty pleasures.
1. Those horrible, only sort of foodlike in the right light “nachos” they serve at gas stations, stadiums, and movie theaters. I am aware that is not so much cheese as a safety-orange shaded petroleum product. I am aware the chips are basically plywood with simpler carbohydrate chains. I adore them, and I cannot resist them.
2. Disco. I possess a “Best of the Village People” album and several hip-hop remixes of “Stayin’ Alive”. Jay says he’s ashamed of his hair metal habit; I welcome my hair metal side as it is far less embarrassing than the disco.
3. Old video games. You know how Tam has hers in a box in the attic because they won’t play on the new systems? Ours are in a box in the closet, along with all the old systems that are still in working order, though the NES needs several voodoo rituals before it will consent to work properly. They are not on the shelves hooked up to the TV because the mood comes and goes and there’s not enough room for them. But the Gamecube is still wired in, largely because of Super Smash Brothers, the best drinking game ever released.
4. Alcopop. I don’t buy it anymore because it’s way too sugary and we have way more beer than we actually drink (our friends get the bulk of that brewed, because dude, it’s five gallons at a time), but Mike’s Hard Lemonade? That was some damn tasty stuff. Hell, I even liked Smirnoff Ice and I’d still take that over, say, a Miller.
5. AMV Hell. It’s random! It’s based on a lot of anime I haven’t watched and quite a bit of some I watched after seeing the first few Hells! For some reason they are hilarious to me and I like to watch them late at night! I don’t understand why!
6. Really, really over the top action movies. The over-the-topness is the appeal. I adored both Charlie’s Angel movies, gold-plated dual-wielded 50.-cal Deagles and all. Loved Shoot ‘Em Up. Kung Fu Hustle is a Hong Kong cinema masterpiece. I can’t wait for The A-Team to come to DVD. I dislike the new James Bond movies partly because I hate shakycam, but mostly because I think James freaking Bond should be saving the world from nuclear prostitutes and laser-guided bears, not involving himself with some sort of incomprehensible intrigue involving Bolivian water supplies. Screw realistic torture scenes, I want to watch him jump out of a plane into another plane while driving an Aston Martin and smoking three cigars.
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Re: #3 — MCM Electronics can hook you up. The operation takes about 15 minutes and all you need is a screwdriver. Cleaning the obvious contacts on the PCB with rubbing alcohol is a good idea too.
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:11 pm
AMV Hell. For. Teh. Win.
Also, you will have no stomach left to speak of if you eat too many of those nachos.
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:52 pm
I’m not yer priest. I will heckle you on these subjects, later.
The ballpark nachos need some things to be adored, to me:
1: The chips must be heated, and at least sort of fresh.
2. The cheese must be very, very hot. As in, far too dangerous to be sidling through a narrow row of seats with it overloading a paper dish-kinda-hot.
3. Pickled Jalepeno slices: the more the better.
You’re, um, not supposed to talk about disco like that in public. Like masturbation, it’s a lot of fun, but better left to private situations, with those you really trust.
Alcopops have several attractions: They’re a nice sweetness after a round or two of beers. They don’t have to be kept chilled because they serve great over ice. They… oh. There’s only two. Anyway, the other night I tried Mike’s Hard Black Cherry Lemonade, and I have to tell you: it does not suck. And really, what’s the difference between that and a cherry lambic? I ask you.
I cannot defend your choices for OTT action flicks. I’m sorry. I still think highly of you as a person, and would speak on your behalf at a parole hearing, and stuff. But those go down not so much as “character traits”, as they do “flaws.”
July 23rd, 2010 at 6:10 am
I keep a close eye on people that don’t like Kung Fu Hustle.
July 23rd, 2010 at 6:28 am
[…] the cool kids are doing it, so I thought I’d throw my chapeau into the washing machine. Hence, a list […]
July 23rd, 2010 at 6:30 am
“You know how Tam has hers in a box in the attic because they won’t play on the new systems?”
Heh. That’s just the Atari 5200 because I don’t have a power cable or R/F adaptor for it.
I prefer the Sega Genesis anyway.
July 23rd, 2010 at 10:42 am
Sigh… all my games went away in the various moves, between outright theft, breakage, and lack of space; I don’t have a single one left. And yeah, Bond needs to be Bond, not that crap they are passing off now.
July 23rd, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Lib shares one, various alco- pops-she orders Smirnoff Ice at the bar, calling it “Vodka Soda”.
July 23rd, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Too bad they’re not obsolete computer games. VMware has enabled me to keep all my old Roberta Williams “King’s Quest” games running in virtual machines. Talk about an embarrassing guilty pleasure . . .
July 23rd, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Hot dogs. I know there is nothing in them that is actually meat, but I can live with that.
Jim
July 23rd, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I refuse utterly to feel guilty about hot dogs. USE EVERY PART.
July 23rd, 2010 at 1:43 pm
“USE EVERY PART.”
A pure example of nose to tail eating.
July 23rd, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I prefer the Sega Genesis anyway.
Hedgehogs for the win. I can still hear the sound of gold rings being collected by the spinning fur ball.
July 23rd, 2010 at 3:10 pm
My favorite AMV Hell clip. xD
July 27th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Don’t be ashamed of your love for Kung Fu Hustle!^_^