Atomic Nerds

This morning, Tam tossed out a quick list of, according to her, senseless desires. To whit, a current-gen video game system, a double rifle, and one of those popular-as-hell cordless telephones the weenies over at Apple sell, which I will not name specifically lest I attract 5000 spam link-back comments.

First off, how on earth is it not sensible to want a double rifle? I mean, a huge-ass gun designed to put a stop on things roughly the animal equivalent of an armored car? Sure, the price tags are pretty steep but other than that what isn’t to like?

The phone… well, I hate phones. When the phone rings here it’s usually accompanied by a verbal response the likes of which are normally heard when one hits ones thumb with a hammer, or stubs a toe with vigor. Ok, fair enough, maybe that one doesn’t make sense.

But the current-gen game system is the real meat of this. Is the Xbox basically an overcomplicated toy? Absolutely. Is it worth picking one up regardless? You better believe it, and here’s why.

Overlord. It’s always the same, you can never find a competent Supreme Bad Guy. The dumbass lets the hero monologue, or shows mercy inappropriately, or simply fails to just be enough of a dick. Overlord is your chance to fix that. Start out the game as your most loyal minion revives you from the last hero to trounce through and raze your castle. From there, you begin building your horde of demons, an army of ambitious go-getters eager to do your bidding and pillage the land. Available in four colors, use them strategically to solve problems and devastate your enemies. We already did a full review on this, but aside from that I’d like to point out just how satisfying it is watching your imp army gear itself up with found weapons and armor, and spotting your seasoned combat veterans come back to kick ass in your name (the flip side being it’s a shame when that grizzled lil’ bastard eventually eats it at the hand of some damn elf that got lucky, or worse, accidental drowning). Sadly, we hear the sequel isn’t nearly as good, but that doesn’t take away from the awesomeness of the original.

Psychonauts. Ok, again we already did the full review thing, and yes this is technically for the original xbox rather than the 360, but any game where one of the take-home lessons is, and I quote, “Shooting things is useful and fun!” is made of win. Absolutely outstanding writing, good gameplay, and you use a piece of bacon as a communication device. Mmm, bacon.

Ghostbusters. We haven’t done a full review on this yet because we’re still playing. I’ll admit we’re biased, both LabRat and I can pretty much recite the movies by heart, but so far this really is standing up to the claims that it should count as the third movie. The combat system is not without flaws, some quite frustrating, but the story and attention to Ghostbusters canon is absofreakinlutely awesome. There are backstories on the ghosts you capture in your own handy portable copy of Tobin’s Spirit Guide, and all sorts of other neat touches. Getting to run around with the guys (and they did get all the original cast to do the voice acting, too) is just icing on the cake.

Dead Rising. This right here is the king of zombie-related sandboxes. The story mode is a giant pain in the ass, but running around taking on an entire mall full of brain-hungry Zack is its own reward. Ok, this one is kind of a flimsy excuse, but I really love killing zombies. A lot.

Mass Effect. Again, full review. In a dollars-per-hour valuation of entertainment, this thing can easily get down into the pennies range. The game is unbelievably freakin’ huge, and even though it isn’t a truly sandbox-world, there are so many side missions, things to explore, and things you have to go out of your way to encounter that it still comes pretty close. The universe is very well fleshed out (too much so for some tastes), and how you go about exploring it is, mostly, up to you. Build your team up of hard-hitting combat heavies and storm through. Swap out some firepower and get some increased electronics support. See your enemies driven before you as you see fit. Amazingly, the AI for your team is actually pretty decent, too. I wouldn’t want them to balance my checkbook, but compared to the usual game AIs you see, of the “HAY LOOK AT THIS WALL THIS WALL IS AWESOME I LOVE IT SO” variety, they’re way above average. I’m pretty sure my first run clocked in well over 100 hours all said and done, spread over a few months. Now that it’s under $20, that right there is some entertainment value.

Cheap high-def. Granted, you’re not going to be getting any movies made after Sony bought blu-ray’s victory about two years ago, but that just means all the movies released on hd-dvd (such as the beyond gorgeous ultimate Blade Runner collection) for prices I believe the technical term is “damn cheap.”

Netflix. $10/month and whatever movie/show you want on demand in high def? Sounds like a bargain to me.

Hrm. Hadn’t meant for this to turn into quite such a commercial. I’m not getting a kickback from Microsoft so far as I know, but I am awfully glad we picked up that senseless geegaw. Maybe this shameless fluff post will inspire The Muse to wander back for something more substantial soon.

Posted the Mario generation |