I Really Have To Wonder About Mr. Coburn
Irradiated by LabRat
Via a chain of clicking initiated by Robb at Sharp As A Marble, we have here an interesting pair of stories about our very favoritest and shiniest alternative to Democrat moonbattery, Republican batshittery:
Tom Coburn’s Chief of Staff Says Straight Porn Will Make You Gay:
Now, I may be getting politically incorrect here. And it’s been a few years, but not that many, since I was closely associated with pre-adolescent boys, boys around 10 years of age. But it is my observation that boys of that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it.”
Schwartz told the crowd about Jim Johnson, a friend of his who turned an old hotel into a hospice for gay men dying of AIDS. “One of the things he said to me,” said Schwartz, “that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark… he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”
There were murmurs and gasps from the crowd. “Now, think about that,” said Schwartz. “And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants! You know, that’s a good comment, it’s a good point, and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”
Tom Coburn hissownself says there’s a lesbian epidemic in the girls’ bathrooms at Oklahoma schools:
When contacted by the Associated Press for follow-up, Coburn’s spokesperson, John Hart, had an answer. Lesbian debauchery has been allowed to happen, he said, because “our kids are getting mixed messages about sexuality.”
Okay. We’ll put aside for a moment the rather amazing paranoia on display here- and by the way, that latter article is all I really need to hear to know that Tom Coburn, while he might at some time have allowed his precious bodily fluids in proximity to a woman’s ladyparts, he sure as hell has never talked to a woman- and get down to the real puzzler on display here.
Have any of you ever been confused about your sexuality from sheer exposure to other individuals of the same sex with insufficient homophobic conditioning, or just “exposure to the same sex not in a full-body burqa”? I know I was as confused as any kid when it came to sex and romance and all that other fun stuff, but my hormones weren’t exactly waiting around for me to be passively conditioned into my sexuality. They struck me stone stupid on the subject of Certain Individuals and what they had in their pants without any input from me or my parents or society at all, starting when I was twelve or so and my gonads were warming up for Phase Two. I came of age during the period when porn was everywhere on the internet but no one had yet devised any effective means of blocking it, within a household and a church that was decidedly liberal on the subject of sexuality, and so far as I can tell it didn’t alter my sexuality a jot or a tiddle. I looked at, and read, EVERYTHING. Porn that involved things that turned me on, turned me on, and porn that didn’t was morbidly fascinating (inflatable pool animals, really?), but not arousing.
So when these folks seem so utterly convinced that an average teenage boy, after exposure to heterosexual porn, would prefer gay porn to a nice, innocent, heteronormative Playboy, or that teenage girls are really diddling each other in the bathroom rather than gossiping… it really does make me speculate on what their experiences as Youths were.
September 24th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Well, someone had to come up with a variation of the old “… you’ll go blind” story. Self-gratification = blindness, porn = ?
Now there’s an answer - “… you’ll go gay”
The good news is that hormone-crazy youngsters are about as likely to believe this story, as we believed the one about blindness.
September 24th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Ahhhhh, Usenet. Those were the days.
September 24th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Well, LabRat, that explains it. You were already gay, and the porn made you straight. You have no control over it, just like everyone else:)
Oh, and Starik? I’m over here;) (sorry, couldn’t resist!)
Wow. If porn made you gay, I’d make Richard Simmons look like a Republican from Mississippi.
tweaker
September 24th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I’d like to TMI here and point out that having sex with women has yet to make me gay.
Anyway, if Playboy did make boys gay (???), so what? They could meet other boys and with a little guidance and maturity have loving healthy relationships with them.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Another fine example of “Get off my side!”
double entendre, intended
September 25th, 2009 at 3:54 am
I wonder why watching all of those Jenna Jameson videos made me crave John Holmes. Damnit!
September 25th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Ya’Know, I’d invite Mr. Schwartz to read the biographies of some sinners who were deep into sexual adventures of all kinds before they became Saved…
(Except the only one I can think of off the top of my head is an educator from North Africa who traveled to Rome, and later became an influential bishop…The Romans of his day had their own version of pornography, some of it in literature and some of it on stage. He refers to it in passing, but treats it as a normal, if sinful, human thing…not as the evil potion Mr. Schwartz is speaking of, with +10 powers of Sexual Confusion.)
The problem with most of the populist Holy-Rollers is that they have little sense of the history of their Belief. Their sense of perspective is so limited that they believe little fictions that grew up in a Church-drenched culture as Gospel Truth, rather than asking which parts are Culture, which parts are Teachings of the Church, and which parts are Indisputable Truth.
Indisputable Truth: humans like sex, especially humans in the prolonged-path-to-adulthood Western world, who are capable of procreating about a decade before the culture and law customarily allow.
Teaching of the Church: Said people should be encouraged towards self-control, respect towards others, and the life of chastity. (If you aren’t a Believer…you can take that advice, or leave it where it sets.)
Cultural Belief: Pr0n is Evil, and makes you blind…or gay…or it’s demonic.
Makes me a little sad to be a Believer, too…but neither I, nor Mr. Schwartz, nor Mr. Coburn are God. I hope they realize that soon.
September 25th, 2009 at 7:31 am
What astounds me is how little he must have thought through the rammifications of his pronouncement that porn makes you gay. Were that true, there would be a vast majority of homosexuals since what, the 50s? Ever? It is a rare child that doesn’t find his dad’s stack of Playboy or his mom’s Victoria Secret catalogues and go run off by himself to enjoy.
September 25th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I’m sorry, I was just scanning through and saw something about lesbian schoolgirls, and the rest kinda lost my attention.
Thanks, Senator!
September 26th, 2009 at 3:30 am
I’ll be in my bunk.
September 27th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Inasmuch as in Real Life, Tom Coburn is an OB/GYN, I have to assume that he’s actually spoken to women on occasion.
Doesn’t mean he listened, but that’s another matter.
September 27th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Now I’m angry.
I missed out on all the lesbian/bi schoolgirls when I was growing up … the few sex partners I had in HS during those years were just not adventurous enough, I guess.
September 29th, 2009 at 7:06 am
While I think Mr. Coburn’s full of crap, I do have to admit that, in my teen years, pretty much every time that I looked at straight porn, I was reaching for some decidedly male genitalia. (Uh, my own.)