Cooking Noob Mini: D'OH!
Irradiated by LabRat
So, this afternoon, feeling peckish, I also apparently felt ambitious. Knowing that there was a leftover chicken breast and also some leftover mushrooms, I thought to myself that I’m A Big Girl Now and I’d make myself a fast stir-fry for lunch.
I did not intend to turn this into a CN post, because I thought that this would be an extremely simple, straightforward, and therefore boring endeavor. Yeah. I think this constituted a taunting of the kitchen gods. So since I wasn’t taking the mental notes I do when I intend to blog something and it wouldn’t be that interesting anyway in painstaking detail, here’s a set of Lessons We Learned Today.
1. Stir-fry recipes that tell you to add garlic before you add meat are full of lies.
2. If the recipe wants you to let the pan get as hot as it’s going to before cooking, it will tell you this. IMMEDIATELY start adding stuff after you flick the burner. Don’t take this opportunity to wander around debating seasonings.
3. If you burn garlic, it really doesn’t matter what else you added to the pan. Carbonized garlic is the flavor of the day. It is neither appealing nor healthful.
Also, I burned my hand on the pan and damn near broke my butt slipping on a puddle of water next to the doggie dish. Awesome.
June 30th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
I have had success adding the garlic before the meat, but you must have everything else ready and on-hand. I’ve also fried up the garlic, then dumped it in a separate dish before adding the meat and such.
Depending upon what you’re trying to do with the onions, particularly for caramelizing, add the onions in a while before the garlic.
We also blanch (dump into a bowl of boiled water) all our vegetables before stir-frying. It really helps.
June 30th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Garlic can be fried to a tasty caramelized state, but it requires low heat and patience. I don’t know if you’d go for the idea, but I have a tube of garlic paste in the fridge; it is a convenient way of getting away from the whole burnt-garlic experience.
Jim
June 30th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
The garlic should be tossed into a separate pan with a bit of oil on low heat for around 8-10 minutes. Stir it once in a while, then proceed with the meat and garlic at the same time.
July 1st, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Your point #3 is Teh Troof. On those occasions when I burn garlic, my only reaction is to swear audibly, throw away the tainted ingredients, and start over. There’s just no way to salvage a dish after the garlic goes ’round the bend.
July 1st, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I second the tube/jar of mashed/minced/whatever garlic. So much easier that fusing w/ cloves all the time. Especially when you use garlic in almost everything but instant oatmeal
July 1st, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Hint:
Mise en Place. It really does matter.
July 1st, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Ceramic floor tile plus dogs equals OH FUCK DAMN CRAP MY ASS.
Ceramic tile is evil. Last year we went on a search and destroy mission that eliminated all the cermic tile in our house. I will never regret it.
Ceramic tile is the tool of the devil.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:38 am
Start by buying mild spices and simple flour in the back of the inn.
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 am
>> Especially when you use garlic in almost everything but instant >> oatmeal
Wait…..
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Dunno if this will make you feel any better, but I once spilled boiling water on my right foot while making rice. This was a Friday night (many years ago), lovely second-degree burn about the size of a big Reese’s or Cadbury egg…and I had to play basketball on it Sunday morning.
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:43 am
I love carbonized garlic. As a person of Chinese descent, stir-fry is always done with a well-seasoned, low-carbon steel wok that’s fired up to be extremely hot. Oil is added. Wait for the wisps of smoke to come up from the oil, then toss in the sliced ginger and garlic. The garlic should turn a bit golden brown and then you toss in the main ingredients. This will cool down the garlic and ginger so they won’t burn (unless you want them to be carbonized). Stir-frying shouldn’t take that long in the first place and if it does, you’re doing it wrong.
As for ceramic tile, you can get the slightly textured non-slip ones. The smooth ones suck. Even smooth marble tile suck.