See How Nice I Am For Not Hitting You?
Irradiated by Stingray
One of the legion of bullshit bad ideas coming out of the First Hypnotoad* apparently managed to slip past me un-noticed. I’m sure there are others equally bad or worse that I’m also not aware of simply because I can only stand to scrutinize politics at all for about ten minutes before the urge to go out and start slitting the throats of registered voters (the ones with the most bumper stickers on their cars first, natch) gets overwhelming, but this one managed to flag on the radar. Today the Hypnotoad In Chief’s administration affirmed that it would not tax motorists on distance driven. Things like this make me wonder, though, if it isn’t just a scam to earn some positive feedback in an already very unpopular administration.** I really hope this is just a sort of ploy where they make up something patently outrageous and inherently offensive just so they can say “Nah, we’re not doing that. See? We’re not so bad!” Then again, after having just spent a surreal amount on pork (and celebrating with a fancy dinner while telling us to tighten our belts - what, we shouldn’t eat cake?) I wouldn’t take the Vegas odds on a real/fake bet on anything coming out of 1600 Pa Ave.
To be fair, I should give credit where credit is due. Congratulations, Pres. Hypnotoad, you finally managed to not fuck something up instantly. Who’s a big boy now? Yes you are!
Anyway. While I’m sure it would be a felony to tamper with the GPS tracker Big Brother The Lightworker says would be necessary to track my mileage, the nice thing is that (for now) we still have to be caught. A soldering iron, maybe a battery or two depending on how invasive the unit is, and a little judicious swapping of parts at inspection time, and we should be all set for some tax-free driving if this crap resurfaces. Alternately, drop it in an unmarked package outside Barry’s place, preferably with a dummy circuit to indicate the vehicle it originally sat in is pointed White House-wards with the engine redlined. Personally, I’d be interested to see how far the average local coyote roamed per month. It probably wouldn’t take too much to rig a collar, and odds are that even if the number of miles traveled is a tad pricey (at a quarter cent per mile proposed it’d take a while to rack up the bill though), it’ll still be a) affordable and b) interesting. I wonder what else could be studied via a tax bill with an Orwell-chip if such was mandated…
*You got a better idea for how he pulls that “tingle up my leg” inspiration shit off?
**Anybody want to run a pool on whether his approval rating will be lower than W’s when he leaves office?
February 20th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Why would they put the tracker in your car?
It’d be much more useful if they just put it in you. With Universal Health Care it’d be free after all - hell they could even use it to keep track of your medical records as well.
It would be such a wonderful advancement who in their right mind could refuse?
February 20th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
All I have in answer is a pocketknife and a bottle of rot-gut whiskey.
February 20th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
“**Anybody want to run a pool on whether his approval rating will be lower than W’s when he leaves office?”
What, you think he’ll be leaving office by the end of ’09?
- MuscleDaddy
February 21st, 2009 at 11:57 am
Can you have a negative approval rating?
Do you have to import illegals to denounce him to achieve this?
Once the number goes negative, will statistians need to use imaginary numbers to figure out means and such — sorry, my bad. Pollsters already use imaginary numbers.
February 21st, 2009 at 9:39 pm
They wouldn’t need to go that far.
I just got my new inspection sticker for 2010 and they got my odometer for the second time.
And $2 more for the same sticker.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am
I dunno, at least Hypno-Toad was a relatively benign character.
I’m thinking BrainSlug. Manipulative, parasitic, and self-propagating of its’ species all in one.
Nice hat ya got there, Hermes.
Regards,
Rabbit.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:53 am
**Anybody want to run a pool on whether his approval rating will be lower than W’s when he leaves office?
Sounds like a sucker bet to me….