Atomic Nerds

So in the true spirit of a bored blogger with nothing of substance to write about, I am choosing to write about what I do with my time when I can’t really be arsed for one reason or another to do something actually productive, whether sheer apathy or being too sick to concentrate.

If I’m just looking for something to do online when I don’t have time for something I can’t duck in and out of in tabs for, probably my number-one pastime is the good old-fashioned wikiwander. Sometimes it’s wikipedia, but I’d probably be an even meaner Trivial Pursuit opponent if it weren’t almost always the Tropes Wiki, a compendium of the various tools of the storyteller, and really, the entire structure and execution of fiction itself. I’m deeply and perpetually fascinated by all of this, and the big bonus is that once you figure out the sorts of tropes that tend to be attached to things you like, it’s a GREAT way to get recommendations for the next book, movie, TV series, or webcomic you should try- for example, I’m nearly guaranteed to like anything that gets listed under Deconstructor Fleet.

I’m also, for some reason, a massive sucker for advice columns. Savage Love is a long-time favorite, though it’s definitely NSFW- it’s a love, sex, and relationship advice column. Dan leans WELL to my left and I can get pretty fed up with him when he essentially suspends advice-giving to rant about some political topic, but the column overall is well worth it, if only to see what people ask about when they’re aware that absolutely anything that isn’t blatantly a prank will be given a serious answer. It also reinforces my impression that absolutely everybody, whether they’re straight and deeply vanilla or gay and into group nose-fucking or whatever, has pretty much the same kinds of relationship problems.

Amy Alkon is another recent find, which is kind of retarded since she’s apparently a darling of the right side of the blogosphere and I really have no excuse for having missed her up till now. Regardless, I’ve been methodically chewing through her old advice-column archives in that compulsive “just one more click” kind of way. Ironically, while I agree with her politics a hell of a lot more than I do Dan’s, I tend to more often be with Dan in the “nature of men and women” department- Amy tends a bit too much to the just-so school of the evolutionary psychology of men and women for my taste. I’m pretty sure a woman asking a man out isn’t ALWAYS a sign that he has no balls and she’s desperate, for example. Either way, it’s fascinating to see how often they’d be writing essentially the same advice for the same letter writers- though I think Dan is far more likely to direct somebody to the most appropriate sex toy outlet or fetish site.

When I’m sick, as net-addicted as I am, off goes the computers and under the covers with me. I love to read and there’s tons of TV and movies I like just as well, but if I’m ill I simply don’t have the available brain-resources to cope with them; if something satisfies and entertains me when I’m well, chances are it’s way too damn smart or complex for me to follow while sick. So, if I’m just too damn tired and out of it to turn pages, the TV goes on to: sitcoms. Doogie Howser reruns were always a favorite, and Night Court is great too. VH1: I Love Every Decade I’ve Ever Survived, Best Unit of Time Ever!. Action movies: Indiana Jones would be too clever for me, but fortunately I’ve seen all of them so many times that I don’t have to follow them anymore. James Bond is pretty much out, though- I don’t like Bond as much as Indy and finding a reason to care he’s going to shoot or fuck someone is just too hard. As for books, it’s P.G. Wodehouse and cheap mysteries for me all the way- the very best kind are the ones where the mystery itself isn’t actually important, the book exists for the protagonists to snark at each other and the world. Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe novels are perhaps the ur-example of the subgenre I mean.

And you all?

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