Irradiated by LabRat
1. Denial. Dog will attempt to escape by repeatedly rotating its body away from the water source, until dog and bather are both dizzy.
2. Shock. Having temporarily run out of ideas, dog will mutely accept the water.
3. Bargaining. Dog will entreat the bather to stop, usually by licking and whining.
4. Shock, part 2. Dog has run out of ideas again and is also covered in soap, which is even worse than being covered in water.
5. Anger. Dog has been soaked, lathered, and rinsed. There is water in his eyes and soap up his nose. Depending on the dog will express this fed-upness in various ways.
6. Transcendent Joy. Dog has been released! Time to shake, spin, play-blow, tail-chase, and roll.
7. Caught Short. Sec, be right back.
8. Horror. Even though the dog is now free and there is no more incoming water or soap, dog is still soaking wet and smells of something decidedly undoggish. Depending on the dog, will make alternating efforts to towel itself off, run itself dry, or lick itself back to smelling like itself again.
9. Butthurt. Self-explanatory.
10. Exhaustion. Dog will collapse and nap hard for at least an hour. Depending on the dog and its coat, this has the side benefit of potentially waking up dry.