Pocket “Bwuh?”
Irradiated by LabRat
Because it’s easy and because it was a recent source of frustration, the oddest things ever said to me during any discussion of firearms. Paraphrased for passage of time and memory, brevity, and coherency:
Gun nuts talk about how the second amendment was meant to allow citizens to rebel against the government, but it was really implemented to allow Southern slave owners to put down slave rebellions!
This one just blew my fucking mind, if only because it came off as a massive non-sequitur to me. Yes, the best way to make your point to someone whose overwhelming concerns are individual liberty and personal responsibility is to tell them that the concept they thought they were defending because they admired one group was actually snuck in by another group that were bad people, therefore the entire thing is fallacious.
That it had very apparently had never entered the individual making the argument’s head that I couldn’t give a rat’s ass which group had an idea, being vastly more interested in whether the idea was a sound one or worth defending, was psychologically educational. I abandoned the idea of giving said individual an extended history lesson on the subject of the history of gun rights and slaves (specifically, how terrified said Southern slave owners were of the possibility that the second amendment might extend to them), for much the same reason I don’t try to teach the dogs to speak Mandarin Chinese.
You think you need a gun to make you feel like a real man!
This after I had been referred to repeatedly in the relevant thread as “she”. Neither have I ever suffered any gender dysphoria. When this was brought up, the commenter in question replied that it was clear I had “balls” anyway. Um, okay. I’ll just chalk up my managing to have an opinion under that “must be a man” file that seems to get so extensive on the internet. (Bonus points: the individual that gave me the line about slaves above also assumed I was a dude.)
If one of us thinks the subject is really someone’s dick even though the subject of conversation is the legality, philosophy, and other issues surrounding a machine, which one of us really has the gender issues?
You wouldn’t be so fearful if you just were around people more and realized they mean no harm/I’m not afraid so I don’t need to think about violence.
For some reason, nobody accuses people who keep home first aid kits, fire extinguishers, or other emergency tools of being terrified of the world. Why is willful ignorance considered evidence of psychological soundness?
That’s a man’s job
Stingray and I spend a lot of time together, but I don’t keep him in my hip pocket. Even when experiencing unfortunate consequences of femaleness, I still manage not to menstruate all over my gun, and I’ve never seen him use his penis to fire one. I am now at loss as to why so much as thinking bout guns or self-defense should be a men-only domain.
You shouldn’t keep anything lethal handy!
Nice car you’re driving. No, I wasn’t trying to change the subject…
October 8th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
“…and I’ve never seen him use his penis to fire one.”
This sounded like a challenge there, Stingray.
October 8th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Wanna shoot my Lahti with yer penis, kid?
Heh.
If my penis could kill at 50 yards, I wouldn’t need a pistol.
October 8th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Even when experiencing unfortunate consequences of femaleness, I still manage not to menstruate all over my gun, and I’ve never seen him use his penis to fire one.
A++++ WOULD LOL AGAIN
October 9th, 2009 at 4:12 am
Thinking about Stingray using his penis to fire his gun brings a whole new meaning to ‘cocking’ the hammer. bwahahaha
There is no doubt in my mind that women can be and are as capable as men of using a gun. See Julie Golob. Also, I’ve seen a lot of anecdotal evidence that when a couple enters the shooting sports, the wife or girlfriend is a lot of times the better shot.
October 9th, 2009 at 5:07 am
That bit about slaves is so historically bass-ackward that I don’t know where to begin.
The rest is worse.
October 9th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Don’t you know that cars don’t count, because they are not DESIGNED to kill.
October 9th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Silly! Girls don’t like guns!
October 9th, 2009 at 6:39 am
Damn, what kind of Idiot’s Forum are you hanging out at, where you are running into that gaggle of fools?
October 9th, 2009 at 7:52 am
I demand a link to this thread.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Don’t you know that cars don’t count, because they are not DESIGNED to kill.
Of course not.
Except for the one that Ralph Nader wrote about…that one was designed to kill, because it was unsafe at any speed.
(Or was it?)
October 9th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
My Suburban is designed to kill. ( Tam’s is also almost halfway to ace status for road deer … ).
Anyone know where I can get dead pedestrian stencils for my driver’s side door?
October 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I second Caleb’s demand. I want to know the link too just so I can annoy them with randomly stupid comments.
Kristopher, I would just print this out and spray mount it to a transparency sheet, then cut out the image. Works pretty well from my experience.
http://highwaytrafficsupply.com/images/regulatory_signs.html/W11-2a.JPG
October 9th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
…or much the same reason I don’t try to teach the dogs to speak Mandarin Chinese.
Of course not, you can only teach a dog Cantonese. And you can have a more intelligent conversation with your dog in Cantonese then you can with one of these gun control freaks.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Sheesh!
Howzabout the 14th Amendment?
It was implemented to make sure freed slaves were not denied their 2nd-Amendment rights to defend themselves against the armed wing of the Democrat Party (KKK) after the Civil War.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I agree with Caleb. Please post the link to the forum where this idiocy took place. Know your enemy and all that …
October 10th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Tam’s right, but there was a typographical error- there’s only supposed to be the terminal exclamation point in her comment.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
(Matt is surprised that Stingray doesn’t weigh in, on a post that has so many speculating about his prowess at practicing pistolcraft with his pecker.)