Kitchen Sink

September 13, 2009 - 5:39 pm
Irradiated by LabRat
38 Comments

Not having any one thing to really write about or do more than briefly bitch and moan about, I’m going to take a leaf from Roberta’s page and see what I can get from the odds and ends. Stingray spent the afternoon brewing and wound up dumping half our hops supply from varying sources and planned projects to shore up a baby IPA he felt needed it, so it seems to be the day for it.

- If people roll their eyes and get testy when they see you coming, it might not be that you’re the last of the brave few of truth-tellers and they are so discomfited by the challenge to their pathetic little worldview that they feel the need to lash out at you to save their own sanity. It could be that you’re just an asshole. Something to think about.

- Via Scalzi, apparently the producer of a movie about the life of Darwin and his wife isn’t going to be distributed in America because people are just too terrified to touch it, seeing as how Americans are a bunch of mouth-breathing creationists an’ all. Bullshit. Inherit the Wind goes much farther in directly spitting in the eye of creationists- up to the point of being so far removed from the facts of the historical Scopes trial as to be more fictional alternate-universe story than history- and Americans are STILL watching it. Why? It’s an incredibly entertaining film, that’s why. Plenty of drama and good actors and good personalities to work with. I find the story of Darwin’s advancing agnosticism and how it affected his relationship with his advancing-in-piety wife interesting in and of itself, but I’m still probably not going to watch this movie, because watching that on a screen sounds really boring. Sorry. Gimme my popcorn and explosions and maybe I’ll read the book when I’m of a mood.

- Dear Obama administration and fans thereof, it is entirely possible to disagree with the President’s policy ideas because you disagree with his policy ideas and not because, variously, you’re terrified of black people, you want people to die, you want nothing to change ever, you think health care in its current incarnation is just awesome, or you work in the insurance or pharmaceutical industries. Just like it was possible to think we shouldn’t be knocking over dastardly regimes in the Middle East and playing Statebuilder four to eight years ago without hating freedom. Okay? Great, now stop spending speeches and editorials building straw armies and burning them down. I realize it’s fun, but if anything is contributing to the “coarsening” of political dialogue, it’s pretending anything other than supine agreement is savage mob behavior. True when Republicans are in charge, true when Democrats are in charge.

- Bizarre side of reading the same blogs for more than a year or two: watching someone go insane in real time. (No, I am not going to elaborate. You either already know or your guess is far more entertaining than the actual case.)

- Speaking of evolution controversies, here’s an oldie but a goody: Roger Ebert smacks the stupid out of Ben Stein. Commemorated because the comment thread got long enough to exceed the capacities of the software- on a moderated site!

- Last thought, a poll question for the readers: when you walk into a barbecue joint you’ve never tried before, and are seeking to gauge the quality of the ‘cue, what is the must-order to benchmark the place: beef brisket, ribs, or pulled pork? Or, for that matter, other? If you think it’s chicken or sausage I think you’re a freak, but I still want the data point. If you’re asking yourself why a restaurant for meat grilled outdoors would exist, we’re speaking two different languages.

38 Responses to “Kitchen Sink”

  1. pdb Says:

    In other news, I know where Stingray’s Privateers can pick up a ship for cheap: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1212013/Revealed-The-ghost-fleet-recession.html

  2. SmartDogs Says:

    I find watching someone I *know* – even just from the interwebs – go crazy in real time to be, well… disturbing.

    Unfortunately this is something I have witnessed with friends and family in real life and the sick helplessness you feel as you watch someone you know and love morph into something that’s familiar and yet utterly alien at the same time is absolutely heart-breaking.

  3. SmartDogs Says:

    Oh and last night we just happened to visit the new BBQ joint in town for the first time. I voted for brisket, husband and our friends for ribs. Both were disappointly tough and chewy. Epic fail. Good barbeque should be fall apart on your plate tender.

  4. Kristopher Says:

    Couldn’t have been me … I was 52 cards short of full deck status before any of us started blogging.

  5. alan Says:

    Dang, I thought I was hiding the crazy.

    I always test the brisket with no sauce. It’s a good baseline.

    GOOD brisket shouldn’t need sauce anyway.

  6. JohnOC Says:

    Brisket or pulled pork. Doing either to ‘good’ or ‘great’ generally means the pit master has a decent hand and some experience.

  7. LauraB Says:

    Ah, the `cue…from GA then TX I think I can claim a bit of deeper knowledge on the subject. And yes, TX loves its sausage. (insert rimshot) Heck, I’m in the sausage capitol! But for me – call me crazy (or maybe you already did) but the chopped pork sandwich always shows the quality.

    Ppl argue that its the mongrel of the pack – that the ribs will always tell (smoke rings and such flummery). But if one can take the lowly chopped meat and make it succulent but not greasy, chunky but avoiding gristle and fat, and flavorful sans sauce? Well, there you are. Magic.

  8. Tam Says:

    While it is indeed possible to cook other things on a smoker using various sauces and dry rubs, the noun “BBQ” is defined as smoked pulled pork, thank you very much.

    If it ain’t pig, it ain’t ‘cue. And don’t believe anything somebody in a funny-looking Elmer Keith chapeau and pointy-toed boots tells you to the contrary.

  9. Top of the Chain Says:

    Growing up in Kansas City, beef Brisket, but that’s for KC BBQ. Hayward’s in Overland Park KS, mmmm. Bryant’s on the Missouri side. Damnit Labrat, now I’ve gotta make a run west here, I’m jonesin’ bad. Having been in Memphis recently, I ask for the pork, ribs, pulled, whatever. For me, it’s geographical.

  10. Christina LMT Says:

    I lean towards pulled pork. The more tender, the better!

  11. Kristopher Says:

    BBQ predates all of that … was invented in the Caribbean. The word is a Taino word borrowed by the Spanish. It involved roasting any large animal in a wood pit-fire. The word Buccaneer was originally a reference to one who barbeques.

    The practice moved to North America fairly quickly ( Internet excerpt stolen ):

    One summer day in 1733, Benjamin Lynde, a substantial citizen of Salem, Massachusetts, wrote in his diary, “Fair and hot; Browne, Barbacue; hack overset.” That is, on this hot day he went to the Brownes to attend a barbecue, and his carriage (or maybe his horse) tipped over. His experience may have been upsetting, but it indicates that the social occasion of the barbecue was established by that time. Large animals would be roasted whole on frames over hot fires, and neighbors would be invited to dine.

  12. Kristopher Says:

    And … completely un-related … here is something I recommend throwing on the unread book pile as interesting:

    The 10,000 Year Explosion: How Civilization Accelerated Human Evolution.

  13. SB7 Says:

    I’d go with the ribs, but just because I’m a rib guy, not because it’s necessarily a better indicator.

  14. Jim Says:

    Good BBQ? Dang, now its midnight and I’m hungry. PDB – you can see those ships on Google Maps, they look like guppies in a tank. Bizarre.

    Jim

  15. daddyquatro Says:

    Tam,
    tam.. tam… tam…
    Pig is indeed a worthy and tasty animal but if you ain’t got brisket, you ain’t got barbecue.

    If I walk into a new barbecue joint and there isn’t a roll of paper towels on every table: I walk out.

  16. Køkkener Says:

    thanks for sharing it.

  17. Dwight Brown Says:

    “…when you walk into a barbecue joint you’ve never tried before, and are seeking to gauge the quality of the ‘cue, what is the must-order to benchmark the place: beef brisket, ribs, or pulled pork?”

    Brisket and ribs for me. If they have sausage, I’ll want some of that as well, but it isn’t a primary benchmark for me.

    Can I just add that the whole Memphis/North Carolina/Georgia/KC/Texas barbecue thing tires me out? I’m a Texan; I like my brisket and ribs. But I’m also fond of pulled pork with a good vinegar based sauce. One of these days I want to make it up to KC and try Arthur Bryant’s, or to Memphis for some ribs. As long as the person cooking it does it with skill and care, I don’t care what regional barbecue tradition it follows; the only thing I care about is, “Is it GOOD?”

  18. pax Says:

    Gotta go with Tamara on this one: it’s all about the pulled pork.

  19. Instinct Says:

    Yeah, Tamara has it right – pulled pork or nothing for me.

    Sorry, DQ, You’re my hero and all but…

  20. Holly Says:

    Brisket. There’s no good barbecue in Seattle anyway though.

    Back in the day I did literally see someone go insane on the Internet, too. There were some very strange posts from her about how she was going to make millions of dollars by starting a school where she’d teach Japanese kids English by having sex with them, and then the next day, a post from her sister explaining that she was in a mental hospital.

  21. bgeek Says:

    I’m a glutton for BBQ, so I gauge it by a few different things:

    Brisket (Must have a smoke ring greater than 1/8 inch. Sauce should always be on the side. Primary Benchmark.)

    Pork Ribs (No smoke ring as it should be pink all the way through. Thin layer of sauce is acceptable, but prefer on the side.)

    Pulled Pork (Not too common in TX/NM, but it should have a smoky flavor with a bit of the bark mixed into it. Sauce on the side.)

    Poultry (Should not totally fall apart, as I still have my teeth. Thin layer of sauce acceptable.)

    Sausage (Should have a smoky flavor and not be mushy.)

    Also the menu should serve more BBQ than sides and appetizers. Offering cheap or sweet tea is a bonus.

  22. militant_marmot Says:

    I check out the brisket, the ribs, and the sausage. Mot every place carries the pulled pork, and it’s a secondary thing for me anyways.
    Of course, that can change on where I am. Here in Texas, it’s those. If I head to the Southeast, I’m gonna get some pulled pork. But brisket, ribs, and sausage are where it’s at for me.
    I like traveling and sampling the different types of sauces, rubs, and meats. Fun to compare and contrast them.

  23. mdmnm Says:

    The benchmark for a new barbecue place is the sliced brisket sandwich. Sauce is fine, but whether the sandwich is swimming in it, the flavor and tenderness of the meat, how much meat, the type of bread, and the inclusion of a slice of onion or pickle all go into judging the most basic of barbecue lunches, in my Texas-influenced opinion.

  24. Chris Byrne Says:

    Ok, if we accept the proposition that proper barbecue involves hot smoked meat; and is not limited to pork (and I do), then we have a first principal to work from, and therefore can answer the question usefully.

    The bellwether meat has to be SLICED brisket. Honestly, anyone competent can do a good pulled pork (which is probably why carolinians insist it is the ONLY form of BBQ); and ribs aren’t significantly more difficult. Pulling meat, and slathering it with sauce, hides a multitude of sins.

    Getting brisket just right on the other hand, requires some real work, and not inconsiderable talent.

    First you have to get the right fat content; and then trim to the required thickness. You’re dealing with a piece of meat that can very in thickness from less than half an inch up to 4″ with a fat cap of nothing to over an inch. Do you butterfly? Cut and trim? Split the brisket into more consistently sized pieces? Do you want burnt ends or not?

    Then there’s your rub. Just how much sugar, salt, and spice are going to be involved; and that plays back into the fat question, as well as the strength, heat, and length of smoke. Are you going to mustard or vinegar rub it first, then dry rub? or dry rub alone? or wet mop alone? or dry rub then wet mop?

    Finally, there’s the smoke itself. What wood or woods? How hot? How long? Do you foil wrap and finish in the smoker, foil wrap and finish in the oven, or no wrap at all and smoke from raw til done???

    If you’re just going to pull pork, none of that really matters; and ribs are far more forgiving of anything but overcooking and drying them out.

    In an entirely related note, I am sincerely worried about Steve. I think he may need an MRI. Radical short term changes in

  25. Chris Byrne Says:

    Gah, hit enter accidentally…

    In an entirely related note, I am sincerely worried about Steve. I think he may need an MRI. Radical short term changes in attitudes, behavior, and demeanor combined with various other indicators are bad news.

    On the one hand, maybe he did just have a personal revelation and made many radical changes in his life. On the other, maybe he as a brain tumor, lesions, seizures, aneurysms, or incipient schizophrenia.

  26. Chris Byrne Says:

    Oh and I should note, that when I check out a place, I go for the three meat combo: Brisket, pulled pork, and sausage.

    I don’t order ribs anywhere unless I already know it’s a good BBQ place; not because I think ribs are an indicator of good BBQ, but because I don’t particularly like ribs unless they are world class, and I don’t like heavy sauce on any meat, let alone ribs. If the place is great, they don’t need to heavily sauce their ribs, and they’ll still be moist, tender, and tasty.

    Unfortunately, that’s not a good bellwether, because even great places frequently slather their ribs in wet, sweet sauce; because that’s how the majority of the public seem to want it.

    It would be nice if you could then say “Ok, if they offer their ribs dry, it must mean they’re good” but I’ve had too much Q’ in Texas (where traditionally, ribs are dry; though not so much anymore) where dry ribs didn’t necessarily mean good ribs.

    Also, having good ribs is really no indication that anything else is good. There are lots of places with fantastic ribs, but mediocre brisket and pulled pork. I have never found that to be true about brisket. If the brisket is great, everything else is generally great.

  27. Ben Says:

    In South Carolina you generally will not find beef brisket on the menu in BBQ joint so that leaves you with ribs and pulled or chopped pork of the two I would go with the chopped but it is a close call.
    It seems we are kinda at a crossroads for sauce you might find Vinegar based Mustard based or Tomato based depending on what part of the state you are in with some overlap of course.All have their adherents and to a degree I like them all but a sweet tomato based is probably my preference but vinegar based is most prevalent in my immediate area

  28. Brass Says:

    Having grown up in Memphis, I can say, without a doubt, that I have a passing familiarity with BBQ. My vote has to go to pulled pork.

    Another good indicator of quality BBQ, how many times the restaurant has burned down and been rebuilt. Corky’s, on Poplar Ave., clocks in at 3 times and has some of the best pulled pork and wet ribs ever. With the Germantown Commissary coming in a close second for taste and having only burnt down twice.

  29. Kristopher Says:

    Question: How old is the person in question:

    Schizophrenia tends to blow up around the mid twenties … but someone on the edge genetically can be pushed by severe stress.

    My younger brother went completely around the bend before he hit twenty … stress from being in the US Army in Europe in the early Eighties got to him.

    I didn’t have to start dealing with my own issues until my late twenties. If he is dealing with auditory hallucinations, the MOST important thing is to get him to realize that the noise is internally created. As long as he doesn’t start cooking up delusions to explain away his problem, he will get through it fine.

    Once you start getting delusional, and cook up fantastic crap to ’splain the auditory noises, you are on the fast track to the funny farm ( if you are lucky ).

    Oh, and Chris … add cat scratch fever to your list ( seriously … not a joke ).

  30. perlhaqr Says:

    I like brisket and prime rib.

  31. thebastidge Says:

    Brisket. It’s just simpler and easier.

  32. thebastidge Says:

    Brisket. It’s just simpler and easier. To eat, I mean. Concur with Chris on the difficulty to prepare.

  33. Chris Byrne Says:

    Oh and one more thing.

    If you happen to be in one of the few places that put them on the menu, and want to really judge the quality of the pitmaster on duty at that moment; order smoked shrimp, or smoked fresh fish.

    Both are prepared from fresh and take less than 20 minutes in a hot smoker, both are EXTREMELY difficult to get right, and both are COMPLETELY inedible when done wrong.

    Of course the problem there is, if the place isn’t great, and the pitmaster isn’t on his game, you’re going to have a bad meal.

    With beef and pork, even if the place isn’t that great, mediocre smoked meat is still half decent with a little sauce and some bread, french fries, and a cold beer or three.

    Personally, I’d play it safe and order the brisket first, and only once you know they’re damn good, try seafood.

  34. Chris Byrne Says:

    Thanks for the inspiration by the way. I turned my somewhat overlong responses into a single post on my own blog.

  35. pdb Says:

    Bizarre side of reading the same blogs for more than a year or two: watching someone go insane in real time.

    I’m 99% sure I just twigged on to who you’re talking about. The funny thing is, I’ve been shaking my head at the antics in question for months and didn’t put it together when you posted this.

  36. SayUncle » Three things one should never discuss in polite company Says:

    [...] religion, and barbecue. No good can come from [...]

  37. Tim Says:

    I grew up in NC and now live in TX. In TX I go for the brisket and the sausage. I’ll usually try the beef ribs if they have them. No sauce. In NC I go for the pulled pork, with maybe some eastern NC spicy vinegar sauce. In Kentucky, get the mutton if they have it!

  38. Boyd Says:

    I don’t know why on Earth anyone would be so pig-headed to say you test the brisket in SC or the pulled pork in TX. That’s just ignoring reality for personal prejudice. Go with the ‘Q of choice for the local region to test for the quality of the joint.