A tip for getting ground animal out of plastic tube packaging: make a slit the length of the tube, opposite the seam. Hold the package over the destination and pinch along the seam until the plastic slides off the contents. Quick, easy, VERY little meat left in the package, and the hands never get “contaminated” (washing the knife will take care of the hands, too, anyway).

5. Fuck it! Are we mice, or are we cooks? So there might be leftover filling! So what! Cooking is easy! ONE POTATO, ONE TURNIP, and DAMN THE TORPEDOES.

Congratulations! You are no longer a cooking noob. Recipes are suggestions, not laws.
Back in my restaurant days, I made a mean calzone.
And (shameful admission) I love pot pies.
There’s just something about MEAT! in a CRUST! that sends an obamatingle up my leg.

Short easy answer I can give while in a hurry: because lab reports are a deeper ingrained habit than cooking is, and because part of me damn well thinks ALL instructions and executions should be that clear.

Raw pastry is okay, but soggy half-cooked pastry is not fit for human consumption. If you have too much pie filling (a common complaint), it generally freezes well and can be thawed out for later pie-baking. Puff pastry is faster and fluffier, but for a heavier dough that won’t fall apart under filling’s weight, try regular pie pastry. Or get wacky and use biscuit mix. (The tubes of Biscuit, Ready to Cook work fine for mini-pies.)

If you run the potato under water, it gets rid of some of the sticky starch pre-sllicing. I generally do it the easy way – I get the red potatoes with the thin, tasty nutritious skin, and just chop ‘em with the eyes gouged out but skin still on.

No, you aren’t the only one-except I saw them with tassels, being whirled around onstage!

I don’t know what your ground lamb is like, but the stuff I get has enough fat that you’d want to skip the butter and drain off a goodly bit of the lamb fat after browning.

“I have a thing for meat pies. I really don’t know what it is; it’s not like my immediate family are from anywhere they’re commonly made, so my entire childhood food memory of meat pies consists of the heavily spiced mystery-meat creations I could get when the Ren Faire came to town.”

God, I know how you feel. I’ve eaten very, very few meat pies, but the idea always makes my mouth water. Sweeney Todd makes me hungry every time.

You’re neither. You’re a rat.

I know it’s on the wrong side of the continent for you, but my favorite meat pies are from Meal In A Pie of Fort Lauderdale. It’s run by a bunch of South Africans and is pure flaky deliciousness.