Flat Dark Earth

January 14, 2014 - 2:02 pm
Irradiated by Stingray

I know I’m just pissing in the wind for all the effect this will have, but can we please stop playing hard-ass make-believe and just say “tan”? Interior decorators have already come up with a dozen names for this color, calling it “coyote brown” doesn’t make it any more ninja at the end of the day than calling it “taupe” or “latte.” In fact, I encourage all three of you reading this to switch to using interior design color names exclusively in place of these tactical-fluffer color names.

11 Responses to “Flat Dark Earth”

  1. Tam Says:

    I prefer “TDC” for “Tactical Dirt Color”.

    Either that or “Ninja Taupe”.

  2. Tam Says:

    Further… (and I wish I were there to hear the rant live) …any ARFcom nerd can explain to you that “coyote brown” and “FDE” are not the same color.

    *imagines colorful Stingray tirade*

    I just use “TDC” as an umbrella term.

  3. LabRat Says:

    Well, yes. Any interior decorator can also explain to you that “mushroom” and “caramel” are likewise not the same color, but I dare you to reproduce any of them independently with a basic paint set.

  4. Jennifer Says:

    “Taupe Tactical Toaster” does have lovely alliteration. Can I call police uniforms “Shiny Bright Sky”, or must I stick with “blue”?

  5. Geodkyt Says:

    See, most stuff labelled as “Coyote Brown” just looks brown, whislt “FDE” looks more tan. To me. For most manufacturer’s products. But there is a difference.

    And I’m widely known for having the mental color palette of the 16 Crayon boxes. . .

    But I like the Tactical Dirt Color idea — and would include pretty much any color one might find in one’s Kleenex after sneezing.

  6. Geodkyt Says:

    How the heck did “while” turn into a bad typo of “whilst”? Damned fat fingers. . .

  7. DaddyBear Says:

    I couldn’t agree more. This silliness is getting to me. My pants aren’t “Coyote Brown”, they’re “tan” or “Khaki”. My bag isn’t “foliage”, it’s green.

  8. Old NFO Says:

    Ain’t black… Okay??? :-)

  9. pun the librarian Says:

    Well, I have used brownish, grayish and greenish instead of olive drab but I’m willing to change that to “Tactical Boring”.

  10. Evyl Robot Michael Says:

    When I went shopping for “FDE” thread with which to stitch holsters, I wound up purchasing a color that they call “sand” which is a good approximation of S&W’s, F&N’s, and Magpul’s “FDE.” My customers are happy and I don’t really give much of a crap what anyone calls it. I do like “TDC” though.

  11. Will Brown Says:

    How about this: take all of these so-called variations on the theme of pale brown and call them Butter Nut-(insert some entirely arbitrary additional word to imply whatever intangible distinction you wish to attempt).

    See how long it takes for anyone under the age of ~30 to make the basic historical connection without being prompted. Then laugh at the reaction the realization generates.

    Extra points if your choice of distinctive word has some not-to-indirect association with the US historical period of 1860 to 1865.