Yes, we did. Now fuck off.

November 6, 2012 - 9:56 pm
Irradiated by Stingray

I just voted and nothing you can say will make me feel any better, so just fuck off. I voted for assholes, and if you voted, so did you, and I’m so completely sick of the goddamn media orgasm over this non-decision over which way we get fucked for the next few years, I’m about up to spreading the mayo on my sandwich to take up in the clock tower for the afternoon, so here’s the deal:

We’ll find out tomorrow which asshole we’re stuck with. If you’ve been one of those poll-sniffing borderline gambling addicts, you are formally instructed to fuck right the fuck off. This goes for friends, too. If you’re naive enough to be wound up and excited for the outcome, I will flat out tell you to fuck off, and end the conversation right there. God help you if you’re some excitable dumb fuck working a phone bank calling to ask which asshole I voted for.

With regards to politics, for the next 48 hours you can either bring me whiskey, or fuck off.

13 Responses to “Yes, we did. Now fuck off.”

  1. Mike James Says:

    How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

    I didn’t vote for anybody, but I did get to vote against an excuse-making little twerp. Felt good. I’m taking my pleasures where I find them.

  2. Ruth Says:

    I think that sums up my feelings on the matter too….

  3. Kara Says:

    Sums up all my feelings on the subject. At least I got to vote on some statewide issues that actually matter to me and weren’t a sure thing.

  4. LabRat Says:

    Yeah, I had my mix of depressed dread on the national scale (there is no result that will make me happy or even relieved), and good cheer on the local scale. I have a good community and a terrifying nation.

  5. Stingray Says:

    Whereas my reaction was discovering that the alternative to someone LR said “Don’t vote for” when I farmed out the research on account of busy was someone I punched out once.

    Fuck this year.

  6. phlegmfatale Says:

    This made me laugh. I had a goal of getting drunk last night, but failed after just a couple of Paulaner at the German joint. [Side track, Old NFO talked to someone whose dad he knows. No shit.] Must upgrade to whiskey, I think.

    I didn’t like any of the options, anyway. Meh.

  7. Ted N Says:

    My Ballot never showed up. Go Army. Fuck me, right!?

  8. Sigivald Says:

    I’m not sure Johnson’s an asshole…

    At least, as politicians go.

  9. Matt G Says:

    How are you on bourbon?
    And what kind?

  10. Heather Says:

    And we can’t even fucking vote yet. We won’t qualify for US citizenship until *next* year. So we’re not registered with any party. Which means double the mailings, double the phone calls, and double the poll attempts since we’re “clearly” undecided…

  11. perlhaqr Says:

    I made it to 1627 hrs this afternoon without finding out which form the Destructor had taken for the next four years, until some asshole who I’d already asked not to decided it would be fun to tell me anyway. Jackass.

  12. bluntobject Says:

    Seems to me that elections need more “fuck”s said and fewer fucks given. And more whiskey, but that’s tautological.

  13. acairfearann Says:

    Scotch, single malt. If we’re going to go out, might as well be in style.