The Sky Is…. Still There!

March 30, 2010 - 12:59 pm
Irradiated by Stingray
Comments Off

Well ZOMG and color me shocked. They fired up the LHC something fierce just the other day, and faith and begorrah we’re still here. So let’s just recap all this, hmm? First the world was going to be destroyed by black holes and dragons when they turned it on. Nothing happened, aside from a rather expensive lesson in “make sure you connected it properly.” Then it was supposed to really be killed by black holes when they turned on the second beam. Still ticking along, amazingly enough. Finally, in the only part where I could even remotely buy there being some danger, we were all supposed to be instantly (or in 14 years, depends on which flawed math you look at) sucked into a doomvortex of super-death when they crossed the streams.

Seeing as every molecule in my body did not simultaneously explode at the speed of light, I’m going to ask again: Where’s my $500?

No Responses to “The Sky Is…. Still There!”

  1. FarmGirl Says:

    Ok so they fired it up but does the God particle look like Morgan Freeman or George Burns?

  2. RobertM Says:

    Funny how subdued the story was in the MSM, wasn’t it?

  3. perlhaqr Says:

    OH MY GOD. I think the “$500″ post came out before I started reading y’all regularly. Hardcore physics snark. *snif* I may cry. That was beautiful.

  4. Kristopher Says:

    Idjits.

    They are just doing science. We should take away their weighted companion cubes.

    Seriously … all this is about getting some photos of the aftermath of higgs-boson collisions. Get those and we can start to get a handle on how and why the strong nuclear force works.

    There are a bunch of interesting thing we can do if we can learn how to manipulate that …

  5. SmartDogs Says:

    The LHC is obviously what kept rogue meteors, t-tauri events and massive volcanic eruptions from destroying the earth after Obamacare passed.

    I am shocked that the MSM missed this.

  6. SayUncle » You may not have noticed Says:

    [...] we’re still here. And someone owes stingray some [...]

  7. TJIC Says:

    Selection bias / anthropic principle.

    In all of the universes where an experiment does NOT end the world, someone snarks “the experiment was NEVER going to end the world”.

    In all of the universes where an experiment DOES end the world, no one is left to snark.

    Snarking isn’t proof that you’re clever; it’s just proof that you survived.

  8. Brass Says:

    ZOMG!! What do you mean they elected Obama over President Palin?! How am I gonna get back to my own world, the one that makes some sort of sense.

  9. pdb Says:

    I SEEM TO RECALL I WAS PROMISED DRAGONS.

    *stomps foot petulantly*

  10. D2k Says:

    One more milestone to go, they won’t have it up to full power until next year because someone screwed up AGAIN.

  11. Tam Says:

    Snarking isn’t proof that you’re clever; it’s just proof that you survived.

    That’s what I said.

    Given the fact that continuity of consciousness is an hallucination anyway, the universe I’m in now is the only one that matters. ;)

  12. cargosquid Says:

    What? Am I the only one that experience a *blink*? And, who is Barack Obama? What is this socialism I keep hearing about? Wait, where are the jet packs and dirigibles………nnnoooooooo!

  13. Satanam in computatrum Says:

    What these assholes are going to do is release the Anti-Monitor and trigger the whole Crisis on Infinite Earths scenario. If you see old Superman flying around, cash in your retirements!

  14. staghounds Says:

    “Seeing as every molecule in my body did not simultaneously explode at the speed of light, ”

    And the proof of that would be?

  15. Lyle Says:

    “Snarking isn’t proof that you’re clever; it’s just proof that you survived.”
    Is the snark to prove the snarker’s cleverness, or to point out the stupidity, and the continuing wrongness, of the “The sky is falling!!!!” crowd?

    There is clearly a subset of humanity, having bought into the Frankenstein Theory, that just “knows” we’re going to destroy the existence of existence, sooner or later, but how many times must they be proven wrong before we stop paying attention to them? Their world view comes from watching movies. In the movies, the guy shouting the warnings of doom from the rooftops is always right, but in reality he’s just a retard/busybody who watches too many movies and is starved for attention.

  16. Old NFO Says:

    Um… maybe we can get it to step us back say… three years??? Just sayin…

  17. Kristopher Says:

    It’s a good thing the thing wasn’t where our congress could reach it.

    They might have been afraid it would tip the earth over.