Stray Shots

November 23, 2009 - 6:58 pm
Irradiated by LabRat
Comments Off on Stray Shots

Substantial content will have to wait for the removal of the railroad spike that, judging by the feel of things, has been embedded in my temple since noon. Until then, an assortment of things not worth more than a few lines that have run through my head recently.

– I either need to play fewer video games or drive more often. My reaction to several people at once approaching a poorly signed four-way residential intersection was “Crap, this is going to be a nasty pull.” At least now that my current favorites have changed around some I no longer get the urge to roll up vehicles smaller than mine.

– Why don’t more people chicken-fry venison? As a solution to irregularly shaped, tough cuts of meat it’s a classic, yet it sometimes seems that the only possible solutions presented to cuts that aren’t backstrap is to stew it or grind it.

– So supposedly the President is “speechless” over the outrage at him doing a deep lowered-head bow to the Japanese Emperor, since it’s only respectful to follow local custom. Look, our relations with the Japanese won’t suddenly turn hostile because a President screws up protocol and symbolically “submits”, but it’s bad diplomacy because he DIDN’T follow local custom. Rules in Japanese culture covering who bows to whom and how low and for how long are pretty complex, and suffice it to say world leaders do not shoegaze to emperors. Hirohito might have gotten a kick out of it in 1940, but Akihito was embarrassed. Either follow previously established State Department protocol, or actually learn the fucking custom before you start improvising, ‘kay? I’d say he needs to fire his Chief of Protocol, but apparently he doesn’t feel it necessary to bring her and has announced they’ll be creating a new position that travels with the President. Awesome.

– I’m with Holly (apparently so much so that I’m borrowing the format). What the hell is up with guys thinking a dick picture is a fantastic way to advertise themselves to the opposite sex? I’ve got news for guys: this will never, ever get a reaction you want. Puzzlement is most likely. Laughter is next most- I hate to break it to you, but male genitalia look a little bit silly to women when taken out of a context that is not her being already interested in having sex with you. And we WILL be debating with our female friends what your dick most resembles, with options ranging from “baby mouse with eyes not yet open” to “skinned hot dog”. Aside from being tacky and creepy, it’s just a bad plan overall.

No Responses to “Stray Shots”

  1. BobG Says:

    “Rules in Japanese culture covering who bows to whom and how low and for how long are pretty complex, and suffice it to say world leaders do not shoegaze to emperors.”

    The only way he could have acted any more subservient is if he did a full kowtow. What he did to the emperor is the equivalent of someone meeting our POTUS and dropping to one knee and kissing his hand. It’s definitely embarrassing for both parties.

  2. bgeek Says:

    Someone should have taught him seppuku instead.

  3. FarmGirl Says:

    Personal Favorite in the “what it looks like” category:

    When he bends over naked, doesn’t it look like a sad elephant??

  4. SmartDogs Says:

    About those genitals… unless I’m lost in the depths of passion or you’re desperately in need in vital first aid – seeing them is definately a case of TMI.

    (I spent years working as a ski patrol officer and I have done ‘vital’ first aid on male genitalia — it was not a pretty situation)

  5. Bob Says:

    Chicken fried deer! Way better than pepperoni.

  6. Farmmom Says:

    Chicken Fried Venison is delicious! It is a great way to use a “marginal” cut.

  7. Don Says:

    BobG: I’m not at all sure that the current POTUS wouldn’t get off on it.

  8. Don Says:

    Farmmom: Got a recipe??

  9. BobG Says:

    On second thought, Don, you’re probably right.

  10. Breda Says:

    Naked mole rat, minus the teeth (hopefully.)

  11. Old NFO Says:

    Chicken fried venison works :-) (I’ve had it more than once). President Unicorn needs more than a protocol helper, he actually needs to PAY ATTENTION!!! Re the dick, no comments, 10 years fire rescue I’ve seen enough wierd stuff…

  12. Ian Argent Says:

    Men give what they want to receive? (from the appropriate gender, mind)

    I can’t explain it any other way

  13. Stuart the Viking Says:

    Amongst my friends we reserve the “Dick pic” for use as punishment instead of enticement.

    One friend of ours was recently getting a little pic happy with the disgusting pics (morbidly obese persons masterbating etc). What a thing to get a pic of in the middle of a movie! A warning was given, and when he didn’t stop the recipient of all these bad pics had nothing else to do. This time it was a case of picking on the wrong person as the recipient was a parapelegic with severe scarring on his boy parts. Truely disgusting.


  14. Jim Says:

    You might get a kick out of this.