Archive for the ‘This climate is silly!’ Category

An Open Letter to Weather Underground, Weatherbug, etc*:

June 28, 2012 - 11:23 am 14 Comments

I’m not sure what reality you’re dealing with regarding the weather in Los Alamos, NM, but clearly it is not the same universe as the rest of us have to deal with. For the past few weeks, temperature predictions, and worse, observations, have ranged from 10 to 25 degrees below actual (as I type, you report a *modified* temperature accounting for heat index of 82f, while the actual unmodified temperature currently sits at a cheerfully skull-boiling 95F). Worse, every single day has carried a thunderstorm icon and the promise of a slight chance of showers. While this is technically true in the same sense that I have a slight chance to win the lottery or to be struck by lightning, given as the only atmospheric moisture comes from my own exhalations, this seems just a skosh optimistic. I can only imagine your crack meteorologists other hobbies, such as eating hamburgers in front of people dying of starvation, or using the last of the fresh water in the life raft to rinse your socks because they feel dirty.

Current reporting claims 45% cloud cover. Please, for the sake of us all, open the window and let the bong smoke out, you’ve clearly mistaken it for atmospheric conditions again, as the only thing covering 45% of the sky at the moment is heat, along with more heat and a side of dry. The remaining 55% happens to be covered by the same thing, but small details like that are easy to miss in the fever of inventing fictional climates. I imagine this fantasy Los Alamos which has been the subject of your reports and forecast for some time now to be quite a nice location, and while I’d like to consider the notion you’re merely reporting on what the weather will be in late September, instead of the end of June, I’m not sure I quite buy that level of prognostication.

I’m aware that most of this “reporting” and forecasting is the result of remote instrument monitoring. Isn’t technology wonderful? The same set of kit that lets me vent my frustration over having sweated through a dozen days of 105f being cheerfully misreported as the mid-80s lets another group sit cheerfully remote to read mis-calibrated sensors and copy and paste the same “Well, it’s almost monsoon season so I guess it might rain” forecast in day after day giving ever delightful false hope and spirit-raising disappointment as the cloudless sky (45% coverage!) bakes the last lingering shreds of sanity from our minds, at a perfectly accurate….let me check the readings here…. purple-bananna degrees. Kelvin.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Snow and earthquakes! How much snow? About a towel.

Please, check the sensors or at least call someone in the zip code and ask if there are any clouds in the sky.

*In direct response to challenge, this complaint contains no words which would not be acceptable in a family-friendly venue. Suck on that, bitchcock.

Mark Your Calendars

December 16, 2011 - 11:45 pm Comments Off

For the first time in I really and honestly don’t remember how long, congress did something not entirely wrong. Hell, this is brushing up into the realm of doing something right.

Short version: Buried in a 1200 page spending bill, the incandescent light bulb ban is effectively dead. I’m as shocked as anybody that the government, of all groups, recognized something Really Fucking Stupid and put a stop to it, but here we are.

And as much fun as it is to stockpile things and then lord your dwindling supply of cherished goods over those without foresight, I think I’ll take being able to pick up a four pack of bulbs at the grocery store any day of the week and twice on Sundays over the alternative.

Besides. The spare bulb area of my garage was starting to make The Lady of the Light wonder if I wasn’t going just a bit overboard.

Get your head out of the clouds!

December 13, 2011 - 5:27 pm Comments Off

Easy. We’re above all that.

(click for big)

Dear Upper Cryogenica:

May 1, 2011 - 4:05 pm Comments Off

Close examination of the above photo will reveal frozen precipitation. It seems your latest shipment of winter has been mis-routed. Please send an agent to collect and properly deliver this allotment of snow, as this unscheduled delivery has arrived on the First of May (nsfw). This has caused the cancellation of various activities, and we would like to get back on schedule.

Your timely correction of this mistake is appreciated.

Sincerely,
The Southwest

QotD

February 12, 2010 - 3:27 pm Comments Off

You don’t use science to show that you’re right, you use science to become right.

Cold Snap '09

January 18, 2009 - 3:36 pm Comments Off

Everybody’s talking about how cold it is this winter. Since I don’t want to be left out, I gotta join in. It’s frickin’ awful out there! LabRat and I spent the day outside splitting firewood, since that stuff is cheaper than gas for the furnace, and it was so cold…

I actually had to wear a shirt!

Can someone help me find the right load for wooly mammoths? What’s best in a fast rifle for rampaging sabre-tooth tiger attacks? I’m pretty sure they’re only minutes away!

More Nerd Approval

September 29, 2008 - 7:25 pm Comments Off

The pollen bloom continues, as evidenced by the fact that the decongestant section at the grocery store looks like it was hit by a mongol horde with runny noses. In a strange coincidence, we’re still not firing on all cylinders yet either. But there is one thing which has made the various pollen blooms this year at least slightly more livable.

trane1

That is a Trane CleanEffects air filter, and it is utterly frickin’ amazing. The basic jist of Trane’s claims is that with a combination of electrostatic charges, a thin regular pre-filter, and this nifty little honeycomb collection grid, it will remove just about anything from the air.

trane2

They are not exaggerating.

The unit as a whole sits inline with your furnace and/or AC system and replaces the standard fiberglass filter that everyone has used since the dark ages. It needs cleaning roughly once a year, depending on load, and it’ll go you one better and tell you when it needs cleaning rather than making you guess when it’s due (that’s the little LEDs on the front – they go from green to red, and you can probably work the rest out).

Before we got this thing, the procedure for a pollen bloom was basically to suffer. Dope up with as much and as many antihistamines and such as would clear an elephant’s sinuses, and still we would sit around with all the mental capacity of an eggplant, and go through a rain forest’s worth of tissue every ten minutes. We’d close the windows, heat be damned, wash our faces religiously, and not a damn thing would change. Now, we close the doors and windows, and use a very nifty feature of the thermostat that came with the system which will circulate the air without actually running any of the heat or AC functions. On bad days, we just kick the system to run those fans non-stop. Within about an hour, our noses are clearing and we feel at least vaguely human again. We may not be back up to 100%, but we can at least function beyond staring blankly at everything. Even better, it doesn’t produce that ozone smell that so many air cleaners leave. As yet another bonus, there’s no more periodic “Damn, what size was that filter again?” checks for replacements. It’s washable.

If you’re more than a little tired of being laid low by seasonal plant-bukakke, I cannot reccomend this gizmo enough. Even bringing in “dirty” air through the vents in the attic rather than just scrubbing the already-indoors air over and over, this device flat out ends the worst effects of hayfever and allergy seasons.

It's not the heat…

July 24, 2008 - 3:13 pm Comments Off

Really, it’s not. Finally. It’s 98F outside and around 40% humidity thanks to the monsoon season, which is basically liquid air by our spoiled desert standards. But it ain’t a problem. I’m loving it. Why? Because last October we had central air installed. This time last year it was well over 105F in the computer room thanks to the southern exposure and copious amounts of silicon transmuting electricity into heat. Now, it’s a nice comfy 78F.

I don’t care if I have to sell crack on the corner to keep it running. Refrigerated air is the greatest invention of modern man.